1
Singapore

•14 hours on the plane

•so bumpy from India onwards!

•so quick and easy through immigration etc

•everyone lives in campus-style apartment blocks with communal areas etc

•military jet planes fly up every day - cloud dusting?

•explored Sentosa island

•went to McDonald’s 3 times

•slept 16-20 hours

2
Singapore

•got a Grab 15 mins to a gym (which was tiny) to just turn around and get the train back to go to a closer gym to where we were staying 😂

•went to McDonald’s again. The cleaner recognized us, cultured af

•everyone is slow as fuck

•Singapore slings are disgusting and expensive

•gardens by the bay were pretty for 5 mins then we just wanted to leave (ended up in McDonald’s again, standard)

•got another grab cos we were tired, hungry and grumpy. Best bit about Singapore

•went in the underground tunnel that goes under the water and island

•Grab driver supports Man U and knows a lot about Southampton fc!

•found something gluten free in KFC and then put gluten sauce on it :(

3
Singapore

•watched whole series of Safe before going to sleep late again. Looks like we’re going to be sleeping every other day...

•family we were staying with had about 43 showers throughout the night?!

•Changi airport is pretty big and clean (of course) with a random band playing. Also security is at the gates rather than the beginning, quite odd

•arrived at 10.30 for a 17.30 flight 🐌

•TO PHUKET!!! on the world’s bumpiest flight through thick black clouds, y a y - also only about 24 people on the plane, what’s that about?

•fight with a few taxi drivers before we actually decide on somebody who looks trustworthy

•lock on hotel room door broken so get moved rooms. Another mile walk to the next one

•about to leave to go find drinks and food but huge downpour. Now watching bbc instead, a reasonable alternative apparently

•finally ventured out in the rain for food. Google maps seemed to show a bunch of bars and restaurants on the beach (and also failed to show us the fat off lake between there and our hotel...) but turned out to be only one restaurant! It was a hard decision given the huge selection but we decided on staying there

•2 cocktails, 1 green curry, 1 yellow curry and 2 ice creams later we were finally stuffed and this little shack-come-restaurant turned out to be perfect (1st meal since leaving the UK, Singapore was definitely not gluten free or cheap!)

4
Phuket

•best night’s sleep in the widest bed ever

•went to a gym, full of tourists/ex-pats

•explored Thalang area and found a BOGOF happy hour. 5 strawberry daquoris later went looking for food

•ended up back at Tony’s from night before for green and yellow curry, obviously. Creatures of habit

•drinking cocktails into the night on the beach and chatting with the waiter and waitress (think she’s pissed too)

•cocktails made us rack up a £70 bill but it was so worth it, called it a late bday celebration as if that justifies it..

5
Phuket

•got a taxi through the hills to Patong - AMAZING views on the way😍

•checked in to our £6 a night private room at a hostel on the outskirts of town. Pretty sure the bed is a slab of concrete and the pillows are filled with air... can’t wait to sleep tonight

•explored the town, walked for miles

•stopped for lunch at Nicky’s Handlebar and made the mistake of getting my red curry medium rather than mild. Left the restaurant crying and with a sudden cold

•let down by google maps again after looking for a highly-rated massage place in the complete wrong end of town! Walked 1.5miles to find it

•SO WORTH IT!!! The reviews weren’t lying. 350 bhat for 1 hour thai massage

•brutal but relaxing at the same time

•got the giggles for a solid 10 mins though as heard a male snoring (he clearly wasn’t getting a Thai massage) and he was proper going for it. Originally thought it was ben and he thought it was me 😂

•pretty sure my masseuse was gay and was going to try and kiss me. It’s quite an odd experience having a butch thai lady climbing your body

•dinner of Thai curries again, I don’t think I’ll ever get bored of them

6
Phuket

•as predicted, sleep was shit. Definitely had more comfortable nights on floors...

•both woke up and the first thing we did was search for another place

•went to patong gym and the equipment was older than patong itself, proper rough iron gym but good!

•back to sweet lemongrass massage for Thai massage number 2! My braid fell out at the gym and she replaited it halfway through 😭 cute. Tip fishing or lovely? Tipped her anyway

•grabbed a taxi to Phuket Town. Almost died multiple times and the matey definitely thought he was Schumacher

•checked into new place and the bed ACTUALLY MOVES WHEN YOU SIT ON IT and we have TWO PILLOWS!! Each! Heaven

•such a nice little town, perfect mix of busy and quiet for us

•dinner at the most romantic restaurant we’ve ever been to (which was completely accidental, just chose the busiest place)

•waiters came and topped up your drink every 2 fucking minutes. Ok mate, get your sleeve out my curry

•one guess what we had for lunch AND dinner.... :)

7
Phuket

•another good sleep - woo!

•weather is absolutely shite though. Heaviest rain I’ve ever heard and strong winds

•went to a cool gym, practically empty

•poisoned with oats in a protein shake

•took shelter from the rain in a cat cafe which was actually really cheap and tasty (you could pet the cats, they weren’t the food...)

•made it back just in time before another heavy downpour which continued all day!

•forced to stay in hotel room until it eased off

•went looking for a highly rated Thai place which turned out to be closed on Sunday (thanks again google!) so ended up at “cottage restaurant” opposite

•pretty waitresses outside and a really shit name (I hate the word cottage🤢), we should’ve known it wasn’t going to be good

•bland food but it wasn’t the worst. Obviously ben loved it, mr bland

•found a pool bar! Had some drinks and played a few games of pool

8
Phuket

•went back to the same gym as yesterday, less the protein shake

•weather’s cleared up - BLUE SKY!

•found the Thai place! Very very basic, literally a street food stand with a few tables

•only Thai people eating here - which is a good sign, yeah, but you know when you walk into a locals-only pub and get stared at? Yep that was us. I think the birds stopped singing too

•AMAZING food!! And cost us £4! Came with loads of sauces and sides. Trip advisor wasn’t lying😍

•orange sweet and sour sauce was the absolute tits

•spoke too soon about the weather. Grey sky.... and a shit load of rain and wind too

•walked for miles to find somewhere for dinner. Apparently Monday’s are their day of rest.. surely people still gotta eat?! Found a Thai place (obv)

9
Phuket

•checked out of hotel (best so far - Tee Pak Dee)

•got soaked through to the bone walking to the gym

•back to Thai place for food again! She remembered us and our order. Will go back when we return to Phuket

•been bitten 5 times on my leg by the same fucker whilst waiting in hotel reception for taxi 😰

•coach from Phuket to Bangkok tonight - 14.5 hours!

•our coach had no air con so moved to later time but free upgrade to VIP, happy days

•seats fully recline, USB ports, air con, blanket... bluestar needs to up it game!

•binged a whole season of Marcella before trying to sleep (for a whole 3 hours)

10
Bangkok

•arrived in Bangkok 6am

•post code of air bnb took us to Chinatown. Spot the lost tourists..

•finally find the place about a mile away. Walk with our huge backpacks. Ouch

•walk to marble temple, pretty cool

•walk many more miles

•go past a group of cliche backpackers (elephant trousers, long hair, the lot) “hey man you just been to big booodha?” “Nah we’re looking for a bar mate” (it was 10.30am)

•sucked into a trap. Nice lady offers advice to the obviously lost and bothered white people. Sets us up with a tuk tuk and an itinerary for the afternoon including a £20 each boat trip which neither of us were up for. Tuk tuk driver our best pal in the world until we tell him we don’t want to do the boat tour. So much for “whatever you do today I wait for you, 1 hour, 2 hour no bother” lol ok bye mate

•paid £1.50 to see the “standing Buddha”. Standing, apparently, because of all the bloody scaffolding!

•a small toddler befriended me in a shop, followed me around and then touched my leg and peered up my skirt

•went to Khao San Road (touristy strip with bars etc). Drank too much.

11
Bangkok

•absolute write off of a day

•hanging so so bad. 2 for 1 cocktail buckets for £4 each was dangerous

•lesson learned: go to expensive bars so we don’t drink so much and to prevent killer hangovers!

•slept all day practically

•all I want is a kebab and chocolate. Thailand has an awful selection of sweets and chocolate! M&Ms it is

•checked out of Bangkok air bnb

•went to McDonald’s where you actually got a plate and cutlery?!?

•walked for miles to find laundry - found 2 and both shood us away 😂

•not a fan of Bangkok. Cool nightlife but apart from that it’s not very welcoming or interesting

•headed to bus terminal to wait for bus to Chiang Mai (and spent 6 hours waiting, playing chess)

•came out of the toilet to the entire waiting room standing up and some sort of national anthem playing... attempted to walk back to where ben was sat but was told to stand still. Most awkward I have ever felt! Need to google wtf that was about

•getting a little bored of being stared at wherever we go - we’re the only white people ive seen today!

•also starting to get a little home sick. Probably because I’m not feeling great still and Bangkok is a huge culture shock, will hopefully pass😊

12
Chiang Mai

•worst coach journey. Freezing cold and bugs everywhere! Little leg room too

•managed to check into hotel 7 hours early

•slept all day. Still suffering with squits and fever

•10pm and ben starts getting worried considering symptoms started after being bitten by mosquito...

•quick rush to hospital as I start fainting and burning up so bad. Thought I was going to have a seizure I was so hot!

•man from hotel throws me in the back of his car and drives us to Chiang Mai Ram Hospital

•seen by a doc within minutes of arriving

•temp of 40! And high pulse

•admitted to ICU

•lovely staff, really clean hospital and the rooms are nice. Ben even got his own bed!

•wearing an adult nappy as every time I get up to poo my blood pressure drops and I feel like absolute death. still can’t piss lying down though, it’s unnatural!

•still have a high fever so the nurses literally bathe me in bed. Wash my hair, cover me in cold towels, blow dry my hair, plait my hair.... it’s like being at a spa but you feel like shit

•the nurses don’t understand that you need a shit or piss unless you say “pee pee” or “poo poo”

•got bathed again. I feel like such a diva

•moved to an actual ward with a pretty good view and a lovely room. Upgraded to the ritz! Tv, double bed for ben, actual duvets, fridge and mini kitchen stocked with drinks... best place we’ve stayed so far 😂

13
Chiang Mai

•fever is gone, yay! “No fever!” says every Thai nurse when they take my temp

•doc said I’ll be in another night at least, until diarrhea has stopped...

•woke up with an appetite for the first time in a week and finished my first meal

•getting bored of being attached to a drip now

•sexiest hospital outfits ever 😂

•whenever I feel sad I just look at the warning signs on my bed. I wonder if anyone has actually ever got themselves in these positions?

14
Chiang Mai

•doctor said I could go home this afternoon YAY

•still not feeling completely 100% but I can rest and take medication back at the hotel. Need a good night’s sleep (uninterrupted by nurses exclaiming “no fever!” after every ob preferably)

•sent home with my own hospital bag filled with medication, X-ray and blood test results. They’re so thorough, it’s crazy what you get when you pay for your healthcare

•bumped into the guy back at the hotel who took me to hospital and turns out he’s the manager. Expressed my undying gratitude to him for picking my sweaty arse up off the street and throwing me into his car!

•ordered food using their deliveroo equivalent, food panda. Have you ever seen coke delivered in a bag before? 😂

•rested. Lots

15
Chiang Mai

•rest day at the hotel, nothing interesting to report on!

•finally feeling more human

•taking advantage of free delivery from food panda

•explored a local market

16
Chiang Mai

•back to the gym - yay!! Only went light but felt good to move more than just bed to toilet

•collected passport and paid bill at hospital - thank fuck for insurance! 44k bhat which is just over £1k. Crazy what you have to pay for but the quality of healthcare is so massively different

•explored local shopping mall

•took advantage of my renewed appetite and ate out for breakfast, lunch, dinner and ice cream

•went to a bar with a pool table that was free 🤩

17
Chiang Mai

•checked into new hotel

•gym again. Cheapest place we’ve found so far! No air con but beggars can’t be choosers...

•back to My Grill restaurant for some gains meals

•shopping again! This man is worse than a woman...

•went to gelato world and I shit you not it was the best ice cream I have ever had, and I’d class myself as a bit of a connoisseur! 😍

18
Chiang Mai

•IT’S ELEPHANT DAY!!!!

•I couldn’t get to sleep, I was like a kid on Xmas eve. I think this is the most excited my adult self has ever been

•packed into a song thuaew type vehicle with 8 other girls for the journey to the sanctuary. Ben is not pleased

•made friends with the tour guide - called Wer (as in where’s Wer? That joke got old pretty quick) - but ben was shit at understanding him. When he pointed out a “rie feel” (rice field) ben was looking out for rifles

•it was SO GOOD!!

•first we started with feeding the elephants bananas and corn. Most videos make this seem a really peaceful experience when actually these fuckers weigh a ton and they don’t really care what’s in their way! Almost got crushed a few times but completely mesmerised

•went to the mud and scrubbed the elephants down before getting in the river with them and splashing water over them and each other. The guides definitely love turning this bit into one huge water fight!

•ben thought he saw a miniature elephant, so we follow in its direction to find a small group of piglets...

•the guides then brought out the camp’s only baby - ben was clearly shocked at how big baby elephants actually are 😂

•dropped home. Absolutely shattered. The best day and so worth the long journey and money!

•first thai curry (“little spicy”) since being ill - chicken not pork!! Was good

•back to gelato world. Nutella, chocolate banana and white chocolate gelato omg! Just need a salted caramel flavour and I’d never leave. Already begging ben to go back tomorrow 🙏🏼

•elephants + curry + ice cream = a very bloody good day

19
Chiang Mai

•gym in the morning. 70B a session isn’t bad! it’s got everything we need and in walking distance

•went to our standard post workout food place called My Grill. Get to choose your meat and carbs, winner!

•walked a mile to the bus station to get our bus tickets to Pai but went to the wrong one... ended up getting them online instead. I love wasting time and ben especially loves me walking him for miles 🙃

•went for a Thai massage and my god were they brutal. It’s one of those experiences where you can’t wait for it to end but at the same time you’re sad when it stops. Painful but satisfying

•pretty sure Ben’s one was just stroking his head at one point, lovingly looking at him..

•explored the Chiang Mai Sunday night market. Just like every other market we’ve been to but so much bigger. It’s about 2km in length! Mad

•went back to the Indian we went to a few nights ago and for the first time this trip I left absolutely stuffed. Platters of Indian food are the answer apparently!

•went back to gelato world for the 3rd night running. Should definitely check if they do a loyalty card? Best. Ice. Cream. Ever. EVER!

20
Pai Village

•went back to My Grill for brunch. Got there before it opened, keenos

•arrived at Chiang Mai bus terminal (the right one) and left ben to go hunting for white magnums. 6 shops and 20 minutes later..

•minibus to Pai. And when I say minibus, I mean MINIbus. We’ve been truly spoilt with VIP coaches!

•very hot bus filled with Chinese people

•read up a lot that this journey causes a lot of travel sickness so was a little hesitant but it wasn’t too bad. Very very windy, yes, but nothing on French mountain roads!

•literally drove through the clouds at some points

•went past an overturned car on the side of the road with the Indian passengers just standing looking at it. It had clearly only just happened!

•Pai is beautiful. Very different to everywhere else we’ve been. It’s quite rural but the town is just full of cliche backpackers. I think we were the only people not in elephant trousers

•our little hut home is so cute! All you can hear is the bugs outside and surrounded by mountains

•had dinner at a cheap Thai place that was packed which must be a good sign (lesson learnt: go to busy places. If it’s quiet you may get food poisoning again)

•turned around to a cat sat next to me which then proceeded to sit on my menu. I miss Milo and Wince😪

21
Pai Village

•walked for what seemed like days to the only gym in Pai. Why do no Thai gyms have air con?! I sweat enough in England let alone here

•back to the cheap Thai place for lunch. Best curry we’ve had and we’ve had a few now!

•rented peds for £2.50 each for 24 hours. Everybody here has one! No taxis so it’s basically the only option for transport

•best thing we’ve done! I couldn’t stop grinning all day. I’m surprised I didn’t get any bugs in my teeth

•rode to the Buddha on the hill, all around town and tried to find a waterfall but it was either walk the remaining 5km or try and get our peds over a bamboo bridge... we quickly decided to turn around

•the views!!! No photos can do this place justice. Looking around and just seeing GREEN and mountains and clouds that you can almost touch. I’ve never been one to appreciate nature but this place is stunning

•went to ”maya queen of burgers” for dinner and the chips were to die for

•had some cocktails at a bar in the village but I am 100% put off alcohol for the foreseeable future

22
Pai Village

•rode to the gym and accidentally ended up going through their morning market - I love these bikes!!

•went for breakfast at the highest rated cafe called Big’s Little Cafe but it’s tiny, just a bar around one grill

•managed to get a seat but this one guy is trying to serve all 10 people around the bar from the tiny grill. Waited about 15 minutes just for other people to get served before he even started ours (ravenous by this point)

•he then starts PEELING THE POTATOES for the hash browns! Realised we’re going to be here a while....

•he then proceeded to add flour to the hash brown mixture, so we got up and left

•found an even better cafe up the road - with actual seats and tables - and we were eating before the previous place had probably even put the bacon on the grill

•handed back the bikes ☹️

•heeeeeavy rainfall! Day in the hotel reading and watching documentaries

•back out to the burger place for dinner

23
Pai Village

•hotel gave us a free ride into town - yay!

•back for breakfast at same place yesterday and finished with the best milkshake I have ever had: banana, peanut butter and chocolate. Just needed to be white chocolate and would’ve been my idea of heaven😆

•every Chinese person we have seen renting a ped has been driving on the wrong side of the road

•3 hour journey back to Chiang Mai

•Chinese kid in front of ben clearly thought he was in first class on a plane and not a cramped 10 seater minibus when he reclines his seat literally into Ben’s lap. Problem solved by ben adjusting it back to upright on his behalf...

•gorgeous views through the mountains again, almost worth the fear of falling off the narrow roads

•at some points we weren’t sure if we were riding in a minibus or trampoline. The suspension had us bouncing (and giggling) the entire way home!

•new hotel is lush. Twin beds cos apparently 3 weeks in we don’t love each other enough for a double anymore (the doubles in Asia are quite small and sharing a duvet gets too hot)

•back to Grill of India for the third time and gelato world for the fourth. We have a £6/day ice cream habit that we may need therapy for

24
Chiang Mai

•it’s nice to be back in Chiang Mai! We loved Pai, it was beautiful, but it was just full of American backpackers talking about meditation and making memories, yuck

•back to our stomping ground gym and My Grill after. I love travelling but I also like a little routine 😇

•cookery lesson with Aon!

•picked up in a song thuaew with an American couple (slightly hoping it was going to be just us but we can attempt to be sociable for a few hours) and went to the market. Shown around and learned about Thai ingredients and what we will be using today

•taken to the open air cooking school

•we would prepare the ingredients together, watch Aon cook the dish, then go away and do it ourselves and then eat

•we made: Tom yum soup, pad Thai, yellow chicken curry (or corry as Thais pronounce it!) and sticky rice with mango for dessert

•everything was SO DELICIOUS. It was so good to try dishes that we otherwise wouldn’t have! Especially given that ben is fussy and I am gluten free it’s hard to sample local dishes from street vendors

•ben loved it! Which I was so happy about as he wasn’t too excited (given that he doesn’t even like cooking and likes all of about 3 vegetables in the world) but he tried everything. Proud

•we bonded with the American couple over both hating backpackers and socialising in general. The irony

•we even got a pdf of loads of Thai recipes to take away with us. Will 100% recommend red chili cooking school to anyone visiting Chiang Mai!

25
Chiang Mai

•boring day, probably shouldn’t even waste mine or anyone else’s time writing about it!

•gym, food, laundry, attempted sunbathe under the clouds turned into reading in bed, dinner, traditional prowl for ice cream, bed

•took a photo of the laundry, that’s just how boring the day was

26
Chiang Mai

•woke up early (7.30am is now early to us, a few months ago that would’ve been a lie in...) to go and watch the UFC fight at a bar

•got us all fired up for our own fight - Muay Thai lesson at Skykick!

•the best hour of exercise I’ve ever done! The teacher was great, he was funny but really pushed us

•genuinely thought ben was going to pass away at one point. I can’t believe how intense it was! For a beginners taster session I really wasn’t expecting much but wow. I feel like I could beat McGregor myself now!

•spent most of the rest of the day watching Muay Thai, looking up camps for us to go to later in the month to train and clubs in NZ..😇

•went back to the same Indian place and gelato again. We deserved about 8,000 calories and a kilo of carbs after the boxing!

•wanted to find a 7/11 on our way home and accidentally ended up in the slowest current of people at the Sunday market. Our 30 min walk home soon turned into a 45 minute dawdle

•witnessed a small conga line of blind people navigating down the pavement of a three laned road (the front matey had a stick and the rest were very trusting of him). Also found a massage place where the masseurs are blind. There’s a booming blind community in this area apparently

•back to the hotel to research more about Muay Thai. Too soon to buy a pair of shorts? Going to sleep so well tonight and probably wake up v v sore

27
Chiang Mai

•went to the gym, printed out Vietnam visas and planned to chill by the pool

•chill by the pool lasted approx 4 minutes for ben until he was too hot and about 34 minutes for me until a wasp made an appearance. Continued my reading in the comfort of bed + AC

•met up with Ben’s friend, Alex, from school who comes to Thailand a lot

•had a drink by the river which was nice until the sun starting setting and mosquitos started to flock to our table

•ended up meeting his Thai friend on the way through town who was disappointed to see me as she thought Alex was bringing her an English man (ben)

•I didn’t think things could get more awkward but no no, they could.... she then asked if her and Alex could come to dinner with me and Ben. There was a long silence before I said “yeah ok” in a voice too high for honesty. Luckily ben had the balls to say no as it was our last night in Thailand and we wanted to have a romantic dinner (which means: no we want to play on our phones and not be sociable with anybody else, thanks)

•ordered 3 curries and 2 rices as we tend to leave Thai places still hungry. Little did we know these were the biggest curry portions we’d ever seen. The owner was not our friend by the end of the meal as we left most of one curry.. sorry kat

28
Ho Chi Minh City

•got to the airport ridiculously early again. I am definitely my mother’s daughter

•they do triple cheeseburgers and double Big Macs at the McDonald’s here!

•flight delayed for 45 mins and apparently Vietnamese people don’t do well with delays. They all queued from the original boarding time and kept asking the staff questions. Just wait!

•our smoothest flight yet - yay!

•arrived in Ho Chi Minh through a layer of smog

•bought visas for about £50 in total to then be told that as UK citizens we get 15 days free entry anyway😑

•THE BUSIEST PLACE I HAVE EVER BEEN! Mopeds everywhere, cross roads are a free for all and somebody beeps every few seconds. Madness

•cost us £3 for a taxi from the airport to our hotel (30 min journey)

•found a burger place for dinner. Cultured

•almost got ran over more times than I have eaten ice cream this trip

•already booked our next hotel for a district slightly further out of the centre. The business of where we’re staying - district 1 - is a little overwhelming. There are a lot of nightclubs and loud music so probably suited more for the party travelers! Us boring twats in bed by 10pm every night? Yeah we’ll check out district 2 👍🏼

•I have never seen a bathroom as small as this hotel’s. You could shower and shit at the same time!

29
Ho Chi Minh City

•went to Mach’s gym which was good but what is it with Asian gyms not having air con?! It’s colder at pure gym at home

•found some Nandos-like place for lunch which was actually really good

•walked through Ben Tanh Market which is absolutely crazy. Tiny aisles between the stalls and you can’t be caught looking by any of the sellers! “Ah bag, you like bag? Bag for you, miss”. Everything’s always “for you”. Peanuts for you, miss!

•ben doesn’t do well with this selling tactic. One woman thrust a menu at him, to which he replied “get off me!” 😂

•went to the War Remnants Museum which I am so happy we did. I have never been almost reduced to tears by a museum before. The photos on display and the after effects of the war was emotional but so interesting to learn about

•there was an “orange effect” display which showed the aftermath of the chemical weapons used and how, still, people are being born with defects as a result. The gift shop was staffed by these people and to see them in person (including a man with no eyes playing the piano) really hit home

•went to head out for dinner then noticed a leak coming through the wall so moved to a different room from floor 5 to 4 - one less flight of stairs to climb, woo!

•walked a mile to find a highly rated Indian place and, surprise surprise, google lied again. Ended up at a Mexican restaurant NEXT DOOR to our hotel.. best chili ever though

•Vietnamese people are very nice. They can’t do enough for you, are smilier than the Thai and try to engage with you a little more

30
Ho Chi Minh City

•headed to a UFC gym that offered a free trial which we applied for online

•(rude) woman at gym told us we needed a code so had to go away and re-register or pay $20 each. No thank you

•coming down the escalator moaning about the gym and the guy in front turns around, hands us his business card - “Al - UFC fitness director” - and asks us what the problem was.

•ends up taking us back into the gym to moan at the woman who dealt with us. We definitely felt like the snitch school kids walking in with the teacher...

•he puts us on the guest list under his name, arranged a full tour of the gym and says we can stay as long we want for free! Crazy. It was definitely the nicest gym I have ever been to in my life. The changing rooms were like backstage of west end!

•the owner of our new hotel/guesthouse is just the loveliest man! He did our laundry for free and is so so sweet

•headed back into D1 for the evening to meet Ban, another of Ben’s friends from school (a closer friend than the last), who has been teaching English here for the last 2 years!

•the traffic lights in Asia have a countdown for the lights which is pretty cool

31
Ho Chi Minh City

•Jason, the hotel owner (its more like an air bnb), just wants to do everything for you. I went down for a spoon to eat my yoghurt with and came back with a whole plate of watermelon!

•bagged another free trial at a gym by saying we were living here for the next few months. World’s hottest gym though, will definitely never go back!

•went to some chicken place for lunch after the gym and ordered a half chicken each with chips. The waitress tried to tell us no, that’s for 2 people. Aha no no we can manage thank you

•went to the Bitexco Financial Tower - up to the 49th floor and it definitely gave us vertigo! Going from street level to nearly in line with the smog film in 20 seconds was disorienting

•ben went pretty white and we only stayed up there for about 10 mins but the views were worth it! Pretty sure a storm was coming in, too... I don’t like them from the ground let alone practically touching it

•ordered some amazing food from their delivery service called vietnammmm (I want to be friends with whoever named it)

•starting to think that I need to tan my feet

32
Dalat

•36 degrees before 10am

•Jason was trying to arrange for us to go to a closer bus station than where we had booked from but we couldn’t change our Grab journey without it charging us. It’s so sweet that they are such helpful people but at the same time it was a lot of hassle just to ultimately stick to our original plan!

•he’s offered us 10% off if we come back to HCM, bless him💛

•still can’t get over the amount of peds here. Kids just sit on the back dancing, people text whilst riding.. it’s actually mad

•Vietnam bus stations aren’t as organized as the Thai ones! People just stood at the counters waving money at the staff in no sort of queue

•....the coaches are definitely better though! Double decker fully replying seats/beds. So comfy! It’s a shame it’s an 8 hour day journey - sleeping on these would be so easy

•another Thailand vs Vietnam: we’re definitely bigger fans of the Vietnamese snack selection but Thai cuisine wins hands down

•ok I take back what I said about sleeping being easy on this coach... the driver beeps every 10 seconds! I think they must have some sort of beeping system for “I’m overtaking you” and “I’m coming round the corner” rather than how England uses it... but still, shh!

•there is no lane discipline whatsoever. I think we’ve spent most of the time on the wrong side of the road and cars/buses/lorries overtake cars that are already overtaking another vehicle. Basically if there’s tarmac, you can drive on it no matter what direction you’re heading

•witnessed 17 people getting into one car!!!

33
Dalat

•ben is poorly :( the pollution and air conditioning really isn’t helping his asthma

•went for breakfast at a bistro where the owner was born in holland and knew of the new forest and beaulieu!

•a crowd was gathering on the street watching a man having his car towed and him full on assaulting the policemen and screaming

•explored the town, market and went down to the lake which is really pretty

•all they sold at the market was coats and hats - they literally treat this place like the arctic! It’s only a little higher altitude and a touch cooler but in no means is it coat weather😂

•Da Lat isn’t exactly what we were hoping it would be. It’s still very busy, just less flat! And even fewer places for us to eat with our annoying limitations

•there’s only one supermarket in the whole town! Which was PACKED. Other than that there are only shitty shops where the products are literally just chucked anywhere and everywhere

•had the best Indian of our lives - ever. So so good. I want to do an Indian cooking course!

•it’s a lot less touristy here so we are back to being the alien white people, getting stared at wherever we go

34
Dalat

•ben still not very well! Rest day for him

•went to the gym on my own. Not the most comfortable place to be walking around on my own as a white female (alllll the stares) but I didn’t want to be in bed all day..

•chilled day at the hotel trying to plan next few weeks in Asia

•ben picked the right to not feel good, the weather is shite!

•the pavements are really just parking spaces for all the peds...

•actually can’t wait to leave da lat. the air pollution is SO bad! Even worse than HCM. Maybe something to do with the altitude?

•back to Ganesh Indian 😋

Vietnam vs Thailand

•snacks - definitely Vietnam. Better sweet, crisps and chocolate variety! Thailand is literally m&ms and snickers

•food - Thailand, without a doubt

•traffic - Thailand. Vietnam traffic is something else

•air quality - Thailand again

•people (friendliness) - Vietnam. Vietnamese people can’t do enough for you and are very friendly. A lot of children see that you’re white and shout “hello!”

•people (consideration) - Thailand! Vietnamese people are friendly, yes, but have absolutely no consideration for others, ie moving out of the way on the pavement and just general awareness of others

•gyms - Vietnam!

35
Nha Trang

•leaving dalat - yay!

•3/4 hour bus journey to Nha Trang. Very windy, very bumpy but very scenic. Vietnam countryside beats Thailand

•kid next to us being sick into a bag mid journey, lush

•stopped at some service station in the arse end of nowhere where a very angry woman tried to sell us melted ice cream. No thanks love that’s just cream

•ben can breathe! It’s still quite busy here, as is everywhere in Vietnam, but the sea means there is actually fresh air

•new apartment hotel place is lovely! The bed is firm but soft and we get TWO PILLOWS each. I’m sure I’ve raved about this before but in Asia that’s literally gold dust

•went to the supermarket to get food to cook at our place and the smallest rice bag you can buy is a kilo. We best be in the mood for a lot of rice the next 3 days 😂

•went walking around for about half an hour looking for coconut milk. Most random product I have ever gone hunting for (and failed to find)

•a lot of Russians here

•had a small breakdown that we’re not doing the standard traveling stuff but ben reminded me that we’re doing all the things that we enjoy, which is v true! I’d rather spend our money on gyms and various sports/classes and food because that’s what we enjoy! If we went to some bait waterfall we’d just a) hate all of the hippie backpackers and b) find it pretty for about 10 mins then be bored. Having the best time exploring and doing what we wanna do, so need to stop worrying about what other people are doing

•turned around to ben “doing his stretches” in bed and then took a photo where I look like either a shoe or John Lennon, or both

•had a power cut (3rd one in Asia so far) and the hotel man brought us in a little lantern, bless him. Him and his wife speak absolutely no English though!

36
Nha Trang

•went to a gym round the corner and managed to not pay for it... nobody on reception so we just walked in with the intention of paying on our way out. Nobody there again... should be better manned really

•walked around and explored by the beach and around a shopping centre

•russians literally own this town!

•went to a cathedral that looked really cool on trip advisor but was literally just a cathedral..

•bought tickets (only a quid) from a very unofficial man with just a donation box and a chair

•wasn’t allowed actually into the cathedral as my top was “too small” - why the unofficial ticket man couldn’t have told me that before we paid. But everyone wants ya money don’t they! All 100 pence of it

•technically a millionaire here. Well probably trillionaire! You can have about 6 notes in your hand and it still not even be a pound 😂

•ben still feeling shit. Emergency stop to kfc to get the boy some sugar then head back to hotel

•asked the lady on reception (using google translate) where we could buy onions, she just holds up her hand and comes back 2 mins later with a handful of shallots, bless her

•we boiled chicken and made a Thai satay curry. How Asian are we?

37
Nha Trang

•ben still ill, not sure what’s up with him! He’s just feeling very weak and tired. Hopefully he’ll be back to normal soon!

•went to the gym on my own and managed to just walk in again for free! They seriously need better security 🤔

•hate walking around on my own in Vietnam. Thailand: absolutely fine. I am literally like a walking piece of white meat here

•post workout meal consisted of 5p noodles (which are actually so good it’s ridiculous. Like a gluten free, Asian pot noodle) with tuna and ketchup. Michelin star-worthy

•there was a very angry dog roaming around outside of the gym so I literally ran down the road when I left. The dogs all look stray but the owners are just so blasé and let them roam anywhere!

•bed day, just chilling and trying to nurse ben back to health

•went to the supermarket to get onions and peppers for another curry attempt

•spent about 30 mins looking for a mozzie in our room. And that means I was in the toilet and ben was flapping a towel around trying to find it... I’m not good with the mozzie worry!

38
Nha Trang

•went to the gym on my ones again

•raining so hard!!! It was a good cover up for how sweaty I was though

•hotel let us check out a few hours later after a long time spent trying to communicate via google translate

•walked a mile to find an atm with free cash withdrawals. Couldn’t find it. Spent 2% fee at the nearest atm instead. Successful

•went looking for our bus company in preparation for later on but to no avail! Also needed to change our Đồng into USD.. found several banks with currency exchange rates being advertised by they all told us that they only take usd for Đồng and not the other way round!

•Vietnamese people just shake their hand above their head like they’re screwing in a lightbulb/dancing in Bollywood if they don’t understand you. Odd as fuck

•went into a Russian tourist information center asking where we could buy usd and THEY DID!!! That Russian man made our day. ALSO found our bus company right next door to the tourist center. God bless the Russians ❤️

•late lunch/dinner at lanterns restaurant which was alright but the curry was so rich and heavy. I ate it so quick and felt proper sick afterwards. But that settled when I noticed the ice cream, obviously

•banana, peanut butter and salted caramel pan ice cream. I couldn’t write a better love story myself🤤

•10 hour overnight bus back to HCM before heading straight to Phnom Penh!

39
Phnom Penh

•finally fell asleep about 1am to be rudely awoken at 4am to us arriving - 2 hours early!!

•quite cool to see Saigon this early. Crossing the road is far less dangerous

•spent 3 hours in McDonald’s sponging their WiFi and regular hash brown breaks

•had a fight with the world’s biggest mozzie in the bus stop place. Seriously this thing could fly through walls it was huge

•Vietnam exit border was chaos. Spent 45 minutes in a crowd (the Vietnamese don’t do queues) whilst our passports just sat in a pile on the only officer’s desk. People kept coming in and handing their passports with a 20k Đồng bribe! Absolute nightmare

•got back on coach to travel all of 100m to the Cambodian entrance border. The difference 100m can make in etiquette is mad... metal railings to distinguish each desk’s queue, people being served in order and no bribes!!

•sweet guy on the bus became our translator for the entire journey. Whenever we stopped the driver would shout Vietnamese instructions which left us in obvious confusion. He even explained the border crossing procedure to us! An English handout would’ve been nice

•walked 3km to our hotel from the bus stop. Definitely a lot further than we initially thought

•was avoiding the sudden downpour by staying under shelter whilst walking but accidentally ended up with a load of chefs in a street food kitchen just saying “sorry” a bunch of times

•had dinner at an Indian, naturally. Best tandoori chicken I’ve ever had. Ever

•cockroach welcoming us to Phnom Penh at the atm 👍🏼

•longest day ever. Ready for 19 hours of sleep please

40
Phnom Penh

•slept for about 11 hours straight

•chose a gym an hour away a) because it was the cheapest and b) so we could walk there and explore on the way

•it’s so weird cos you pay for things in dollars but get Riel as change and you can also mix currencies to make up the change ie a dollar bill and 600 Riel to make $1.25

•tuktuk driver called something like Macarena tried to get us to book him tonight for boxing match. He told us to remember his face and then proceeded to stroke his mole hair at us

•bought some new gym clothes from the market all for about $10 because I’m a sweaty pig and we can’t afford to do laundry as often as I sweat through my clothes 🙂

•Found a different tuktuk driver called Jon. Pretty sure that’s not his birth name though

•taught us some Cambodian on the way to boxing: Leehow = bye, Atay akun = no thank you, Akun giran = thank you very much. Ben’s nailed “no thank you” and will no doubt resort to this phrase in every situation going forward

•turned up to the tv studio, following the crowd in with Jon, when a guy with a headset takes us round the back, searches us and charged us a dollar each. No idea what was happening

•then takes us in back stage and we were convinced that this was actually some tourist beating place and we were going to be a part of the boxing match

•we then come out actually on the stage (???!!!). I didn’t know it was possible to get stage fright when you didn’t even know you were due to perform

•directed around the boxing ring in front of the entirely-Cambodian audience to seats literally ringside amongst other white people and tourists. Apparently this is where the people sit who pay! And it was like 70p!!

•most surreal and coolest experience ever. 3 fights (Cambodia v Thailand in each) with a mix of Muay Thai and Khmer boxing which was televised live nationally!

•in between each fight we had the pleasure of a Cambodian singer accompanied by ladyboy dancers miming little mix

•Jon took photos of us to send to his wife, cute or weird but mainly cute. He drove us 30 mins to the studio, sat with us for the 2 hours (god knows how many fights he’s seen now) and then drove us back all for $8! He lives here for a couple of months at a time but his family are near the Vietnam border. Bless this man ❤️

41
Phnom Penh

•arranged to meet Jon outside our hotel at 10.30 but he was late... a younger guy came running over with Jon on the phone who explained to ben he’d be 20 mins or so. BLESS. HIM.

•went to the killing fields. Absolutely mad that it was so recent and the fact that almost 1/3 of the entire Cambodian population was killed...

•still a lot of other killing fields throughout the country that haven’t been excavated as there are active land minds

•went to the genocide museum/S21 prison which was also massively eye opening to the horrific stuff that happened just 30 years or so ago

•walked back to our hotel via the biggest shopping mall ever (literally the size of heathrow) purely to find hand wraps for boxing but no sports direct here!

•everybody is so bloody friendly it’s insane, especially considering the genocide that happened so recently

•the locals absolutely love it when we reply in Khmer! Literally love it

•saw some guys playing some sort of foot badminton next to the river

•complaining the last day or so that our room was too hot. Apparently fan speed 5 means slow and 1 is fast? That’s completely illogical but ok

•tried the national dish of amok which was actually really nice. Like a Thai green curry but without the spice and unnecessary herby vegetable shit

42
Phnom Penh

•moved hotels! Thank fuck for that. We almost grilled in that hotel room, even with the fan on speed 1

•our tuk tuk driver evaded being pulled over quite impressively. Stopped at a red light and, halfway into the journey, he decided to put his helmet on? We were confused but then noticed the dozens of police down the next road. We all cheered as we went past them 😂

•had another Cambodian curry for lunch. I’m a fan

•walked to another market which was HUGE and another mall - in the proper suburbs so we were definitely the novelty white people once again

•it’s crazy how when we first arrived in Phuket we were so nervous of all the traffic. There is no order whatsoever in Asia but it somehow works. Now we can walk along 6-laned roads with no pavements and it just feels normal! Reckon crossing the m3 would be piss easy now

•accidentally found an Indian for dinner again... starting to think we should add India to our destination list?

43
Phnom Penh

•woke up to a car playing a polyphonic cover of Celine dion’s ‘my heart will go on’. If any song was ever going to be released in a polyphonic version that would definitely be my first choice

•kept awake by the sound of roosters. Did we check into a farm?

•had the best burger I have ever had in my entire life for lunch. The brioche was gluten free! And the chips were double cooked in some kind of heavenly oil because they were fucking phenomenal. 10/10

•got talking to the owner (bloke from Brighton who’s lived here for 6 years) and tells us about the good salaries for working as English teachers here. Ben and I have pinkie promised that after NZ we will come back here to live and work to save up for travelling America😆😆😆

•had a nap seeing as my sleep was so musically interrupted this morning...

•went to another market (!) and still didn’t find the hand wraps ben has been looking for

•back to the burger place for dinner. It was that good I’d go again for breakfast tomorrow if they were open before we have to leave ☹️

•this is the first place I haven’t wanted to leave! The only place so far I could see myself staying long-term. The people, the food, the business, the atmosphere... I haven’t stopped smiling since we arrived

44
Phnom Penh

•had every intention of getting up at 6:45 to grab some breakfast before our coach to Siem Reap but even the promise of a full English couldn’t get us out of bed at that time! Those 4:50 alarms are a very distant memory...

•chose to sleep for an extra hour instead

•made it to the coach 20 mins before departure but had no cash or food or drink on us. We were supposed to get all this from the atm and mini mart next to our hotel but it wouldn’t accept MasterCard :(

•had a very small breakdown due to having absolutely no food and drink for a 6 hour journey. And when I say small breakdown, I mean I looked solemnly out of the window and cried. I may also have refused to talk to ben for at least a couple of hours

•we stopped at a restaurant halfway through the journey and it was torture to watch everybody else enjoy food 💔

•arrived in Seam Reap and went straight for food (obviously)

•soooo many tourists here! A very lovely area with lovely locals - it’s still Cambodia! - but a lot of typical backpackers, hostels and tacky bars

•had some emergency surgery on my big toe to remove the ingrown toenail that became infected. $12 and all the ladies stayed late (and watched intently),, gave us free water, filed and polished all of my other toenails and managed to get out both ingrown nails! Magic

•tipped the lady $5 and she honestly looked like she was about to cry, she was so shocked and happy! I’d have payed £50 to have them sorted

•accidentally fell into an Indian again. It was a really steep hill and we literally just tripped and landed at the table...

45
Krong Siem Reap

•went to yet another non-air conditioned gym. I will never complain about an English gym not having the air con on again!

•found a lovely Khmer restaurant that offered cooking lessons - all booked in for tomorrow woo

•they do Sprite Zero here 😵 first zero drink apart from Diet Coke I’ve found in Asia!

•they also have a pretty good chocolate/sweet selection in Cambodia, too. Moving here purely for that reason

•met our tuk tuk driver ready to go to Angkor wat to then be told it’s $37 entry EACH. We didn’t want to go that bad!!! Ended up being shown around the countryside instead for $6

•it’s crazy the divide between rich and poor. Well, more crazy at the lack of actual divide; you’ll have a gated, marble house right next to a whole load of corrugated iron shacks

•adding to our Khmer vocabulary! They absolutely LOVE it when you speak Khmer, it’s so sweet

•being with ben learning the basics of another language is what I imagine having a small child learning its first words is like. Any Cambodian we see he just starts reeling off every Khmer word he knows

•I have also taken on the role of translator for ben, translating both his Khmer to the Cambodian people as his memory is shite and also Cambodian people’s English to him as he struggles to understand their accent 😂

•pathetic sized bananas in Asia. You get normal ones too but what is the point of these bite sized versions??

46
Krong Siem Reap

•went to the restaurant for our cooking class and started off by visiting the market. First experience of shopping in a dark market by torchlight/candlelight as they had a power cut..

•saw the tiniest kitten I have ever seen! And it was stray :(

•the cooking lesson was in the actual restaurant’s tiny kitchen. Felt a bit in the way of the other chefs, especially considering you could probably fit 4 people in there stood still, let alone actually trying to cook

•we both chose Cambodian chicken curry for main and sweet potato in coconut for dessert but chose different starters: I had fresh spring rolls and ben had fried spring rolls as I didn’t think they would be gluten free

•turned out both were made with rice paper and Ben’s were bloody amazing. Mine were way too herby but still nice enough

•had to ask San, the chef, to wash his hands after he handled raw chicken and then started touching all of my veg.. apparently Cambodians aren’t aware of salmonella. Bodes well for confidence in their food safety!

•aside from difference in hygiene opinions, the food was fucking incredible. Cambodian chicken curry is quite similar to Thai yellow curry but a little sweeter and spicier. SO GOOD! And who’d have thought we’d like sweet potato in a dessert? It was boiled in coconut milk with these weird honey/frog’s spawn ball things

•went to the gym in the evening - for a change - and I think I sweated the entire water content of my body out. Mozzies would’ve had no chance biting me as they’d have just slid straight off

•yesterday we got out the last of our budget for Cambodia but somehow lost $10 of it. Scraped a $6 dinner all for the sake of not getting out more cash from an atm as they charge $6 in withdrawal fees! True cheapskate backpackers now ✌🏼

47
Bangkok

•up at 6.15am to catch our bus to Bangkok. Earliest morning in forever

•had to officially “exit” Cambodia and then walk a few hundred meters to the Thai border

•stood in a queue (an actual chained queue! Vietnam need to take note) for what seemed like a year to get into Thailand. Why do I always feel like a criminal when stood in front of immigration?

•realised we’ve accidentally come to Thailand a day early. Our visa expires the day before our flight to Singapore, oops...

•miss Cambodia already. Thai people are rude and nothing like our Khmer pals 😢

•went to a restaurant where everything is <100 baht except they completely forgot Ben’s meal. I had finished mine by the time they realised and then we just left and he got a McDonald’s which he was prob a lot happier with, especially as it was a double Big Mac

•bought some wraps for our boxing camp!

48
Bangkok

•glad we’ve given Bangkok another go. We’re in a much nicer area this time which is a lot more modern - they actually buildings with windows, doors and air con?! Never going back to the side we were at last time

•managed to get a 3 day free trial at anytime fitness (with air con *angel chorus*) by saying we were in Bangkok for a few years. Did this in HCM too. Masters of blagging free shit

•rode the BTS (skytrain/monorail thing) which is really efficient and nowhere near as busy and grimy as the tube

•dragon fruit and papaya are disgusting

•made a yellow curry which turned into a brown curry but was delicious. Having our own cooking facilities is so good!

•supposed to go to Muay Thai but my back was playing up so went for a massage instead

•weird how much the Thai massages differ - every shop has their own special routine. This one was a bit too soft (give me pain!!) but was still good

49
Bangkok

•woken up at 2am by the air con basically giving up and then started to make some crazy noises. Room was like an oven

•reception gave us another room to sleep for the rest of the night in but had obviously been roasting in the sun all day - another oven!

•finally get to sleep at 4am and the 7 o clock alarm for Muay Thai was definitely turned off :(

•decided to skip Muay Thai and go to the gym again, as it was free. “You guys signing up today?” lol maybe tomorrow...

•started to walk back to our hotel to save money rather than get BTS but I needed a piss so bad and we got on 2 stops later. Saved a whole 6 baht (about 20p) 👍🏼

•had a mini meltdown. Not sure if it’s being back in Bangkok or a bout of home sickness but I just felt sad.

•unpopular opinion but Thailand isn’t my favourite! The people are generally quite hostile and I feel like everybody is trying to rip me off. Which is the complete opposite of Cambodia (which I wanted to nickname Bodie but ben said no) where the people are just so lovely and genuine. I felt happier there! But we are only back in Thailand with a purpose of exploring the islands and doing lots of sport, so ☺️

•went to a Gracie-certified BJJ class which was really cool! Lesson 23 in Gracie combatives which is essentially self defense. Got to wrestle and throw ben on the floor which let out a bit of frustration haha

•walked past a load of girls stood on their own very scantily dressed. Soon realised they were definitely prostitutes

•made another dank yellow curry. However, it’s nice having cooking facilities but now all of our clothes stink of curry!!

50
Bangkok

•a nightmare of a morning.

•ran around for about 40 mins looking for an iPhone charger as both of our dodgy ones decided to pack up in the night. No proper shops open until 10am in Thailand? Lazy

•eventually found some in the 7-11 right near our hotel 😑

•turn up to catch our bus to Kanchanaburi at the bus terminal, as our ticket clearly stated. Was then told we were at the wrong place and we had to go across the road and down the street! All of this running around was not fun with our 16kg bags on our back

•arrive to our bus with 10 mins to spare to then be told that we needed to book a seat for our luggage. You what? This is probably our 20th bus (albeit only 3rd minibus, but still..) and never have we ever had to do that! Ben threw our bags onto the floor in front of our seats and we sat cross legged for a good half of the journey, until the German couple behind us offered us some of their luggage space

•arrived in Kanchanaburi which is cool. Not much going on but a nice break from Bangkok!

•place where we had dinner (supposedly 3rd best here according to TripAdvisor) was showing some weird shit on tv. Started with shamu shows and then changed to bull attacks on humans. Perfect dining entertainment

51
Kanchanaburi

•went on the Thailand - Burma railway which was built by WWII prisoners and nicknamed “death railway” as 100,00 of them died during construction

•1.5 hour journey up to “krase cave” where you can walk out on the trackers overlooking the River Kwai

•amazing views and scenery!

•the trains stops every so often what seems like in the middle of nowhere where local people and monks get out. So weird

•waiting on the platform to get the train back when a woman throws a bit of food out of the window as the train is still moving which clocks me right in the face! Ben went straight to her carriage to make her feel embarrassed. She was very defensive and just said “it was only a bit of food, get over yourself”. You had the whole journey to throw something out of the window, why choose as you’re pulling into a platform? Silly English witch

•got off at the bridge over the River Kwai. Really beautiful place ruined by the horde of tourists (admittedly we were one of them)

•went to a buffet hot pot place for dinner which we’ve been saying we’ll do for a while. Basically, you get a pot of chicken stock on an induction hob thingy and choose your meat, veg and noodles and cook it yourself!

•waitress brought us some chips too. Was that because we’re white?

52
Kanchanaburi

•walked through the Thai outback for what felt like forever to a gym

•went past a few shedded snake skins. Safe to say we walked a bit quicker than usual and in the middle of the road

•ate at the second highest rated restaurant in town which was a burger place but it was very over cooked and they didn’t even get my order right ☹️

•wanted to go to “the big tree” (literally what it says on the tin) but taxis wanted about £12 to go 5 miles! That’s double what we paid to get here from Bangkok!! No thank you

•had the most budget dinner of noodles - made in glasses due to lack of bowls - and tuna. Made up for it with 2 ice cream sundaes at KFC though

53
Kanchanaburi

•up at 5.45am to catch a bus back to Bangkok

•hotel lady insisted she drive us to the bus station this morning but she was nowhere to be found when we needed to leave.. only 10 min walk away which we wanted to walk anyway

•this time we actually booked 3 tickets, one each and then one for our luggage, but the bus was practically empty!

•got to Bangkok an hour early and anticipated waiting 3 hours til our next bus to Chumphon but they had space on the 9am one 🤣 ran (literally, it wasn’t pretty) straight to the platform and straight on the bus wooo

•stopped halfway for food which was only street food style carts that we haven’t been brave enough to eat from yet but then got pointed to a seated area by a man saying “free food”. You don’t need to tell me twice

•went in and everyone from our bus was sat at tables with bowls of curries and rice laid out. A family of 3 waved us over and told us to sit with them

•the dad then started serving us up some rice and we helped ourselves to what looked like a yellow but turned out to be the spiciest fish curry ever. I only took a little whereas ben piled his on 😂

•had to finish everything (without any water to help it down) as we didn’t want to disappoint our new, temporary family

•ran straight for ice cream after

•got dropped in the middle of nowhere in Chumphon. The one time we don’t get ambushed by tuk tuk and taxi drivers is when we actually really wanted one! \240

54
Chumphon

•a very boring day, not even sure why I’m bothering to write about it

•went to the gym 3 times. First time to see that it didn’t open until 12, next time gone 12 but still nobody there! And 3rd at 3 when somebody actually turned up

•I messaged them after the second attempt and they felt so bad that we were waiting outside, they gave us a session for free 👍🏼

•went to an arcade as there are so many in Asia, we wanted to see what the fuss was about. Embarrassed ourselves on a dance mat (that was diagonal and had a centre pad, wtf?!)

•people looooove their suped up cars here! Everything is slammed, on some crazy alloy design or got some ratchet exhaust attached

•had a full day of eating microwaved shit from 7-eleven

•really took for granted how easy it was to eat gluten free at home! I am refined to only curries and rice or microwaved shit from the shop here. Worse things have happened, I know, but I just love food :(

•the helmets they wear here are only like £4 each. I bet they would pass all EU regulations!!

•slept and chilled for the rest of the day. Early mornings, broken sleep and long bus journeys are slowly killing me

55
Chumphon

•got a catamaran to Koh tao

•the amount of white people on this boat sets the scene of how touristy it’s going to be...

•travelled parallel to the rain - so weird! One side sunny, the other pure grim

•got ripped off £10 to get a taxi a couple of km to our hotel. Most expensive taxi yet... tourist money trap I think! It was the only taxi rank on the island as everybody just rents peds here (for about a quarter of the price too!!)

•why are we always on the top floor of hotels? They never have lifts either 😂

•found a real cheap Thai place found the corner with lots of cats and the food was sooo good

•chilled for the early evening as a lot of early mornings and travelling still has us pooped

•went to the “best place” according to trip advisor on Koh tao but the place we had lunch was wayyyy better and so much cheaper 🧐

56
Ko Tao

•went to the gym. Cost us a tenner. Stayed for nearly 2 hours to get our money’s worth

•had a message from a girl in my year at school to say that I just walked past her - creepy small world??

•tried to go back to the yellow curry heaven but she wasn’t about :( ended up at some place with a fairly decent green curry instead

•all I post about is food but that’s generally all we’re doing - going to the gym, eating and walking around!

•walked down sairee beach which was a lot quieter than I expected. Everyone was probably still pissed/hungover in bed

•beautiful island but I imagine it was paradise about 20 years ago. Overrun with backpackers and bars and bait tourist traps (expensive taxis, for example). Everything is like double the price in shops too, wtf is that about?

•accidentally found some articles about this being dubbed “death island” for the mysterious deaths and murders of backpackers here over the years. The couple murdered in 2014 were found on sairee beach where we had been walking just 10 mins before 😳

•booked to go to Koh Pha-ngan on Friday which a SE Asia backpacking Facebook group has told me is a lot quieter. Let’s hope so!

•went back for second round of yellow curry and I swear it was better than yesterday this woman is a culinary queen. She’s so sweet too!

57
Ko Tao

•got about 4 hours sleep. Stressing about our next move and wasting our time somewhere we don’t like. Just got to make the most of a bad situation though!

•went for a “massage with a view”. Definitely a view but the massage was a little bit more like a fight. I swear the lady hated me? There were no smooth transitions of placing my leg delicately back on the bed, she literally just dropped it. If she wanted my leg straight she just pushed on my knees. And when she started to stretch out my back I swear to god I was part of an exorcism. She gave a good neck massage though I’ll give her that

•walked “just down the road” (soz ben) to a restaurant with a view over Koh nungyen. Turned out it was just down quite a long road that was almost vertical at some points

•one of THE best curries I have ever had!! Sooo worth the walk. Chicken massaman hello I am very pleased to have met you

•petrol is just sold in old whiskey bottles on the side of the road. Haven’t seen a single petrol station

•rain and grey skies for the rest of the day = chilling in bed and napping for the afternoon

•back to yellow curry queen (or its actual name: Thai samosa restaurant) for dinner. The place was rammed and she only has 2 woks! Ended up waiting a while but she brought us a coconut curry she accidentally made. Think she’s our pal now

•there is definitely a lot of cross contamination of gluten with there being only 2 woks. Have spent the last 2 nights nursing a bowling ball belly but it is totally worth the bloat and farts. Ben agrees I’m sure 😇

58
Ko Tao

•watched an electric storm in the night. Pretty cool! I’m getting better with storms. If I’m in bed in a sturdy building, fine. Put me in any form of transport or outside or near big trees it’s a huge no

•rain continued ALL DAY

•nothing to do except spend a couple of hours at the gym and really get our £10 worth!

•had a lazy one watching films, doing puzzles on the iPad and listening to podcasts (my new obsession) in between multiple power cuts

•went for dinner during a power cut hoping our yellow curry queen would have power but she didn’t! She saw our wet selves and instantly just said “2 yellow curries?” and, the goddess that she is, cooked by torchlight for us 😭

•candlelit dinner surrounded by only cute cats and Ethel herself - no tourists, yay! She even served us up a huge bowl of ice cream for free too (probably trying to shift stock thinking the power was never coming back)

59
Ko Tao

•woken up extra earlier by strong winds and torrential rain

•waited at the pier for a boat to Koh Pha-ngan in the pouring rain and wind for what felt like forever

•the sea was so calm in the bay and ben assured me that the journey would be even smoother than the one here....

•....as soon as we get out of the bay it is literally a miniature, water equivalent of the alps. It’s never a good sign when the staff are giving out sick bags!

•luckily got a spot outside but man it was the choppiest (choppy doesn’t even do it justice!) boat journey I’ve ever been on. Had to grab a sick bag for myself at one point. Finally arrive 1 hour later 🤮

•new hotel is lovely! Have our own little hut and the resort is right on a beautiful beach. Even got driven all 20m from reception to our hut by golf cart (definitely not a hostel lol)

•ben smashed the clay potted light outside our hut with his bag as soon as he stepped off the cart... welcome to us! :/

•rain, rain and more rain. Inches and inches of rain. So much rain

•shoes ruined by looking for food in the evening but to no avail.. 7-11 dinner it is then!

60
Ko Pha Ngan

•breakfast buffet at hotel included in our booking oh hello (except the bacon was served in a tray in top of bread.. rude)

•started our 45 min trek to the gym through inches of rain (their drainage system is pretty crap here, it just flows down the roads to the beaches!) where we bought a poncho each and then found a bike rental place. That made the rest of the journey a little easier!

•cool jungle gym

•got absolutely soaked. My poncho hood kept falling down so I just accepted that I was going to get wet

•everyone here is so hippie, they all walk around bare foot and so so many yoga retreat places and vegan restaurants

•dinner at hotel restaurant as everywhere apparently closes when it’s torrential rain! Luckily had a patch of dry for the sunset :)

61
Ko Pha Ngan

•set off on our bikes to find a little island off the north coast attached by a beach. Didn’t appreciate just how hilly this island is and ben forgot his inhaler 🙄

•didn’t even get halfway before we both decided to turn back and go to the beach not even 50m from our bed!

•the hills are practically vertical. It makes sense why everyone has motorbikes instead of bicycles now...

•ben cheated death after narrowly escaping a jellyfish sting (which he then insisted I come towards him to look at it. No thanks pal)

•spent £10 on a snorkel which we used for all of 5 mins until the jellyfish incident scared us back to shore

•went for a walk and got lost in 2 labrynths of resorts. Found the next beach down and it was the most tense beach ever?? We stepped on and everyone (yogis mainly) stared at us as we had just stumbled upon a private event. Pretty sure all beaches are public but ok then bye

•massages at our resort with the sunset behind us. Best Thai massage I’ve had so far!

•spent an hour or so trying to get a lizard out of our room. Ben got frustrated and gave up. Definitely going to wake up to a lizard nibbling my toes or something 🤢 we also have a resident cockroach living under our sink

62
Ko Pha Ngan

•Koh phangan’s yogi-ness has gotten to us and we’ve started doing stretches daily. Hopefully it’ll help!

•was going to go to a meditation class but it was gonna be £20 just to pay to sit in a room and breath quietly. We downloaded our own meditation stuff on YouTube and did it on the beach for free 😂

•had a pretty decent lunch at some health cafe thing. Went straight through me though didn’t it :/

•cycled to the gym and got talking to some guy from buckinghamshire who now lives here! Also saw the happiest dog again

•went in the pool and sunbathed on the beach for a bit but then got chased off by ants

•ben has water stuck in his ear from the pool so he spent most of the evening with his head in various positions trying to get it out. It’s still there the next morning

63
Ko Pha Ngan

•had to leave my £3 sziget shoes at the hotel as they have finally lost the battle against the tropical weather. Rip ❤️

•found out the rest of the ferries after our very bumpy one here were cancelled due to the waves! Cheated death yet again 😅

•very quick and calm boat trip over to Koh samui with a chicken on board (?!)

•checked into Superpro Samui which looks awesome! Got upgraded to an apartment for the first half winner winner

•had a pineapple curry which was actually the tits. Whoever thought of putting pineapple in a spicy curry is a god

•I’m actually quite sad I wasted so much time on green curries. They have so many pointless vegetables and too many fragrant herbs in! Massaman, yellow and pineapple curries are where it’s at (only I would get sad about food and write about it)

•first bjj lesson was so good! Only a small group of about 6 or 7 but everyone was really friendly and the coach is really good

64
Ko Samui

•the camp is so cool! 3 big Muay Thai rings with a big training area, a gym, pool and matted mma/bjj area. This is heaven! I can walk 10 meters to the gym as many times as I like😝

•bjj (no gi) in the morning and then again in the afternoon. Bjj clashes with Muay Thai and we’d rather do the jujitsu so focusing more on that

•I never realised grappling required so much effort. All of the drills the coach has us doing (rocking our bodies up and down the mats etc) has me aching head to toe already

•had the best massaman so far for lunch. Didn’t take a photo, too hungry

•promised a sweet lady yesterday that we would come to her place for dinner today. Sat down to eat, turned to our left and saw said sweet lady at the restaurant next door. Oops 😳

•had the best yellow for dinner though. A very good day for training and eating! My appetite is through the roof with all of this walking, gym and bjj 🤤

65
Ko Samui

•Muay Thai starts just before 8am every morning and we’re right next to the training areas so we have a nice alarm of a ringing bell every morning😑

•bjj morning class was tough! Loads of core work and I am so sore already

•feel a little bit like we’re in game of thrones as the teacher, who is French/Canadian, refers to men as “sir” and females “the girl” (even his own girlfriend haha). “Ah yes the girl has it”

•made it to the restaurant for lunch that we were supposed to go to last night. The woman remembered us and was happy we came!

•chilled and napped. I hurt

•evening class was a little less intense and learned a couple of self defense moves and chokes (my favourite was the anaconda where you roll the other person over your head and then get them in a neck choke)

•I really couldn’t do one self defense move where ben had to push on the back of my knee so I fell to the floor on my side. I panicked and just flopped face down 😂

•also had my elbow nearly broken by an older dude trying to help us. Apparently my arms were supposed to be bent and not locked straight! When he tried to do something it crunched so loud and I made a very loud “owww!” sound. Poor guy felt awful. I felt more awful for making him feel awful

66
Ko Samui

•got my first jujitsu injury from an anaconda roll - ouch! On my way to cauliflower ear within the first week of starting lol

•coach messaged me on Facebook to tell us that we are both really good! Yay, think we’ve both found a hobby we could be good at

•another 2 bjj classes and our bodies are aching head to toe

•the evening class he made us run for a long time for the warm up but only because we were focusing mainly on leg locks which was fun!

•back for the best massaman for dinner mmmmm

67
Ko Samui

•no bjj classes at the weekend, cry :(

•had every intention of going to the morning Muay Thai class but all of my sports shorts were at the launderette so went to the gym instead

•walked 3km in the boiling sun with no shade respite to a huge tesco. Saw a pylon thingy disguised as a very tall palm tree, nice try haha

•had the best chicken and rice for lunch in their amazing food court. It’s called hainanese chicken and it’s essentially just boiled chicken and rice with an amazing sweet chilli sauce and a side of chicken broth

•ben will never understand my love for looking around foreign supermarkets 😂

•came out to a huge thunderstorm, where’d you go sun?

•taxis here are SO EXPENSIVE! So we were forced to walk but ended up in a barbers for both shelter and to get ben looking less hobo-y

•practiced some bjj drills instead of evening Muay Thai class. It honestly just doesn’t look appealing, more like boxercise

68
Ko Samui

•had to move from our apartment to a smaller room but at least the air con reaches us better now! And we’re not right next to the ringing bell at 8am every morning, hooray

•walked back to tesco for some more chicken and rice. It’s called haianese chicken which is essentially just boiled and served with rice, various sauces and chicken broth

•went to the hospital to have Ben’s ears flushed out as he hasn’t been able to hear for a few days now

•was hoping for more satisfying chunks to come out but at least he can now hear! £80 later too, ouch

•went for an Indian which was massively underwhelming. Cost us 700 baht and was probably one of the worst we’ve had in Asia so far :( small portions and overpriced!

69
Ko Samui

•judo takedowns in the morning class were not fun. It hurts to throw and be thrown!

•older guy who helps the instructor offered for ben to try some on him so he could go a little bit harder than “he would on a girl”. Thought he was gonna break the guy’s back!

•found a really cheap haianese chicken place not too far from here. 50 baht (like £1.20) for a plate of chicken and rice with a bowl of broth. Why didn’t we find this place sooner 😢

•in the evening class I was partnered up with the instructor’s girlfriend, which is fine except she hardly speaks any English so it’s really hard to learn/communicate with her

•went to mama’s for dinner but it was closed and had to make do with a shit restaurant opposite which was more expensive and the yellow curry tasted like a curry pot noodle. Unimpressed

70
Ko Samui

•bjj morning class I was put with small frenchie again. Not enjoying it as much without ben! It’s not going with other people it’s more that I can’t actually speak to her and all she says is “ok good” but I don’t even know if I’m doing it right!

•had a small breakdown (these are becoming frequent why am I such a baby) about not enjoying bjj so much when last week it was the most amazing thing ever

•haianese chicken for lunch. She remembered our exact order ☺️

•practically half a watermelon from the street side for like 40p

•bjj evening class and the frenchie didn’t show up! Yay hey ben. I enjoy bjj again now lol

•mamas for dinner for the best yellow curry on the island. You get free fruit at the end and it’s times like these I thank ben for not liking fruit

•don’t actually have much to take photos of whilst we’re here. We’re either in class, stretching, at the gym, eating or sleeping! \240

71
Ko Samui

•signs in toilets are getting weirder

•bjj morning and evening class, obv

•possibly the only people to ever go to a Muay Thai camp and not do Muay Thai

•chicken and rice is everything that’s nice. And the broth, the broth is the bollocks

•not everyday you eat your lunch next to the live version of it..

•saw “electricians” working on the messy electricity cables with a bamboo ladder just propped up against them!

•went to the shop on my own and on the way back I noticed the cleaner lady from our hote waiting in the middle of the road on her ped. She started waving me over and gave me a lift back without actually ever saying a word to me. Bless her! Said to ben from the start that I wanted to get a ped taxi and I accidentally got a free one :)

72
Ko Samui

•Ben’s bday!!!!!

•bjj morning class and then private lesson with Dave straight after. Got to go through exactly what we wanted which was cool

•chicken and rice for lunch, standard

•walked all the way to Makro which was about 3km away in the hope that they’d have some sports clothes, completely forgetting you need a membership card... we managed to evade the security guards though but no clothes

•only saving grace was a KFC nearby for a sundae

•evening bjj class and our warmup was “light sparring” with each other. Only had about 10 lessons I do not know how to spar. Not fun

•ben went with CrossFit dickhead who was actually trying to submit him and ended up hurting his elbow! Left class early

•best burger in Thailand!!! Spent about £23 on dinner which is the most we’ve spent in a very long time but so so worth it. Really good knowledge about what was gluten free etc too

73
Ko Samui

•skipping all classes today. Way too sore and confidence knocked after last night’s lesson

•walked 4km to a shopping center which was pretty cool. They had a food court and we found some trusty haianese chicken

•there was either a pet shop or a mini zoo in the middle which was weird and sad. Cats, owls, dogs, pigs, even a fucking raccoon... wish they had bigger cages though

•seeing Xmas decorations in 30* heat and blue skies is really weird. Definitely does not feel like Xmas!

•one of the best (and most needed) Thai massages at Sky massage

•back to Hungry Wolf for some amazing burgers again. £50 in 2 days on burgers? Why not... not like we’re on a tight budget or anything? Let’s call it Ben’s extended birthday celebration

74
Ko Samui

•said bye to Superpro :( going to miss the luxury of unlimited fitness. Met some cool people too - Daniel, world champion kickboxer who would always reply to “you alright?” with “me? I’m always good”; Otto, a young Dutch guy with no fighting bone in his body that Ben took under his wing; Pepe from Chile and a German guy whose name we never actually knew haha

•a very skatty day of traveling that consisted of: a minibus from our hotel to the bus station, a coach onto the ferry, met that coach after we got off the ferry to be told we had to change bus, hopped on a minibus which then took us to a travel company office thing, quick stop for lunch, a songthuaw to another bus station and finally another coach. Could’ve definitely done this whole journey never having to change bus!

•our last coach in Asia and it was the worst one yet. Had to ask to stop for a piss and the air con was shit. Never sweated so much when only sitting still

•eaten a lot of sweets today to make up for my sweets/chocolate detox whilst at the camp (I specifically declared in the small print to Ben, though, that if chocolate came wrapped around ice cream in the form of a magnum then it doesn’t count)

•arrived in Krabi and immediately found a haianese chicken place 😇

•proud of us uncultured and somewhat snobby folk from eastleigh now eating on the street-side for £1 a meal. When we get to Australia it’s going to be odd not sitting outside on plastic chairs for dinner...

75
Krabi

•found an outlet village which was literally like downtown disney

•bought hoodies for the cooler Aus and NZ nights (never thought I’d be excited for cold)

•ben bought too many Superman clothes and then proceeded to wear them all at the same time. Am I dating a 7 year old?

•packed songthaew on the way to the village with people hanging off the back and then, on the return journey, we were those people hanging off the back!

•making the most of our last couple of days in Thailand with 2 hours of massage - 1hr Thai and 1hr foot. Ben was massaged by a man....

-a few words from ben-

Easily the most awkward experience of my life, the man pretty much massaged my bum hole. I’m talking millimeters away from actual rim contact and it was for a good minute or so. Then not only the awkward bum hole incident he continued to make contact with my penis on mulitple occasions, more than any other massage I’ve had before. Could barely look at him when we left.

•apparently penis contact is a regular occurrence for him?!?!😂😂

76
Krabi

•last Asian gym and everything felt like it was about to snap!

•there are pavements here but we’ve been so used to walking on the roads that we’re now the weirdos that avoid the pavements...

•chicken and rice x 2, man I’m gonna miss £1 meals

•ben had a kfc instead. He’s onto the western food already

•was gonna go to railay beach but we both realised neither of us want to swim and don’t particularly like sand so went for a walk around krabi town instead

•last curry of Asia was a massaman and is up there in the top 5 of our travels 😋

77
Singapore

•flight from krabi to Singapore

•spent 50 minutes in a queue made up only of Russians. Though it was a bit weird and then realised we were queueing to check in for a flight to Russia. Oops

•finally checked in at the right desk (which was in a different terminal entirely)

•got fined 500baht each for overstaying our visas by a day. Felt like a right criminal being taken away by immigration

•Krabi Airport is just one room with chairs and a cafe

•probably the only people to ever buy Air Asia souvenirs (purely for the purpose of completing our Visa cards)

•12 hour layover at Changi airport but we couldn’t have chosen a better airport to spend the day. Cinema, games room, so many restaurants and shops, massage chairs, gardens... pretty good

•can really appreciate just how nice Singapore is now after spending 3 months in Asia. It’s so clean!! And people are friendly! Expensive though

Reflecting on our trip in Asia:

best days - cooking lessons, elephants, Muay Thai lesson, boxing match in PP and renting bikes in Pai

fav place - Chiang Mai and Phnom Penh

least fav place - Koh Tao and Da Lat!

fav country - Cambodia

least fav country - Vietnam

best food - yellow or massaman curry of course

78
Sydney

•2.30am flight and planned to sleep straight away but man Indonesia was bumpy as hell! Got about 2 hours in total

•apparently we chose the worst day to fly. Very very bumpy landing, think the seatbelt sign was on for the majority of the flight, due to sydney having shit loads of rain and storms

•meant to meet Wendy at the airport for Ben’s license but she got the wrong day 🤦🏻‍♀️

•got the camper and drove to their house to collect it. First time driving a van AND driving abroad and I drove through Sydney in rush hour. Pretty proud of myself (and I didn’t shout at ben once!)

•maccers do all day breakfasts. Starting my emigration forms now..

•apparently all camp sites are fully booked/closed and it’s illegal to camp just anywhere. Emergency hotel booking as we are in desperate need of a shower and some decent sleep!

•BAKED BEANS! I didn’t realise how happy a bowl of baked bloody beans would make me

79
Sydney

•slept like a log. Could’ve slept for hours more!

•met Adam at the camper rental place as we went back to sort out the stereo and fridge which wouldn’t work... apparently there’s a switch for both that we hadn’t turned on 🤦🏻‍♀️

•drove down to woolongong for lunch

•arrived in Bateman’s bay at our campsite for the evening. Lovely area! Camp owner’s reply to us coming down from Sydney was “oh bugger Sydney”

•went to Coles and stocked up on food and crap for the van. Then went into aldi which is like half the price. Oops

•alcohol is so expensive here!!! $16 for a 10 pack of ciders. I wish ben liked wine, it’s so cheap

•aussies are such friendly people. Old couple camping next door came over for a chat and everybody says hi to you

•3 months in Asia with only being bitten on the legs and the first full day in oz I get bitten on the face

80
Batemans Bay

•didn’t sleep very well - pranging about bugs eating me and it was so hot in the camper. Missing air con but at least it’s a lot cooler at night here

•set off to a place Adam has booked with no showers, toilets or WiFi (cheers bloke). Driving about 70 and we realise the side door is open, I try to close it but the handle comes clean off and so I’m holding on to this door whilst hurtling down country roads looking for somewhere to stop 😂

•Australian countryside is beautiful! This country is a hybrid of UK/USA I swear but so much prettier

•stopped in a little town called bermagui which was stunning. Had lunch literally on the other edge of the world. Best view for lunch ever

•drove down the bumpiest dirt track for 4km to a campsite Adam picked out. Right on the beach but no showers or toilets, just a hole in the ground covered in bugs. Ben and I weren’t feeling it so we moved on to Eden, another beautiful town on the coast

•why do people ever move away from Australia??? I don’t think I can ever get bored of these views!

•cooked dinner in the camp kitchen (“typical poms eh cooking chips”) and got talking to a couple who live on the campsite. Talking about all the dangerous wildlife out here

•they knew a bloke who got swallowed whole by a great white and spat back out. He’s a local celebrity apparently 😂

•it’s so funny watching Adam trying to keep up with brit and Aussie conversation. He hasn’t got a clue what we’re saying when we talk fast! And he still thinks aussies and brits sound the same bless him

81
Eden

•set off for lakes entrance and visited the Eden lookout spot on the way out. No whales today :(

•it’s nice to actually be able to play with dogs now, knowing that they have owners and are most likely rabies free

•stopped in mallacoota for lunch (which was a 15 min windy detour from the main highway, sorry ben). I don’t think we’ll ever get better lunch views than those this side of the world

•how to tell strangers your name without actually speaking: get a photo outside somewhere named after you

•apparently missing curries already (I’m shocked too) so treated Adam to the delight of yellow corrryyy

82
Lakes Entrance

•nice to have a lie in and not have to move on early but it’s pissing it down and so windy. Australia man wtf?

•managed to cheat the McDonald’s system. $3.50 for a plain sundae or 80c for an ice cream cone served in a cup. Boom

•the stone fruit here is absolutely amazing. I’ve never had such juicy peaches, plums and nectarines!!

•played mini golf and came last, naturally

•crossed the footbridge over to the 90 mile beach that ends here in lakes entrance. So windy I thought I was going to get blown straight into the water 😂

•never seen such an angry but beautiful ocean! Crazy waves

•had some bonza kangaroo steaks. Are we Aussie yet?

•attempted to teach Adam shithead. Can’t teach an old dog new tricks

83
Lakes Entrance

•stopped at lakes entrance lookout on the way out where apparently there have been dolphin sightings but none today. You ever seen ocean so blue though??

•6 hour drive to torquay through Melbourne and to the b100, the great ocean road!

•went over the west gate bridge on its 40th birthday :)

•in Melbourne centre you cant just drive onto the motorway, you have to queue and every time the green light shows 2 cars can enter. Clever or annoying?

•new camp is huge! And right on “surfers beach” which is packed with surfers right up until sunset

•there are tons of queer Christmas tree things where the pines face upwards

84
Torquay

•spent $40 on the gym but haven’t been for over a week - desperate times!!

•possibly the best day and place we’ve been so far?

•did some daytime drinking ($5 bottle of rosé hello) and explored Torquay

•such a surreal place! Spent a long time down in the rocks exploring caves, getting attacked by swarms of flies and standing on the lookout with 360 of the town and coast

•no photos do these views justice!

85
Twelve Apostles Marine National Park

•left torquay :( and headed to princetown down the great ocean road

•it will take a lot for NZ to beat these views!! Long and winding road but so worth it

•headed to the 12 apostles marine park and, considering how quiet the roads are, we were shocked at how packed it was. Literally 100s of Chinese tourists

•the Chinese love a good photo shoot don’t they? Here’s me and the information centre, here’s me and a tree... just move please

•got to princetown and the “town” consists of: our camp, a convenience store (which was closed, ironically) and a tavern that sells pizza and expensive booze. Most Wild West town I’ve ever been to. More tumbleweeds than people

•had to drive 30 mins back to find an open shop

•princetown is apparently home to Australia’s entire population of flies and mosquitos 🙄 but it’s in a big open valley which is beautiful

•Adam is the weirdest eater ever. His lunches consist of tinned fish with various pickled vegetables which he then also has alongside normal food like chilli

86
Melbourne

•woken up to about 15 bites each and we keep finding more!!!

•started our drive to Melbourne. 36 degrees out today - definitely the hottest day in Aus so far!

•stopped at some huge shopping village which was basically west quay on steroids. Went for trackies but apparently they’re not available coming into Australia’s summer 🙂

•checked in with Adam to his air bnb in Melbourne. Nice to have good WiFi and a proper private shower!

•had the best chicken tikka masala of my entire life which definitely contained gluten but it was worth the pain. Also found the best vanilla ice cream in woolies (making full use of having a freezer for one night!)

87
Seymour

•went to the best gym EVER - Doherty’s. Proper huge, old school bodybuilding gym. Moving to Melbourne

•finally replaced my sziget shoes with some Aussie £4 alternatives. Let’s see how long these last!

•left Melbourne to make a start on our 800km journey back to Sydney

•stopped in Seymour for the night. Bought 2 huge steaks for dinner which actually turned out to be 4🤷🏻‍♀️

•high of 38* today and it’s still 32* at 11pm!! Trying to sleep in the back of a stuffy camper is not the one. Slept with the door open.. it was a choice of either turning into roasted humans or getting bitten some more

88
Goulburn

•drove 9 hours from Seymour to Goulburn (well ben did)

•some places could not sound more Aussie: Wadonga, Howlong, Wagga Wagga, Little Billabong. Can only be said in an Aussie accent too

•met the most handsome and affectionate dog ever called Bentley what a lad 😍

•$5 rose says vintage 2018, pretty sure that’s not vintage?

•last camper meal for a while and we found some gf gravy yay happy poms!

•favourite part about these campsites is definitely walking to the toilets in the dark and feeling like you’re in a planetarium. The sky is so clear every night and I feel like I’m literally walking in space... on the flip side though I’m not going to miss having to walk a mile to the toilet and being wide awake by the time I get back to bed

89
Sydney

•drove the last 2 hours back to Sydney

•camper rental place was shut, wtf? Said to drop back by 1pm Sunday but they’re not even open so the morning rush wasn’t necessary!

•no mention of cleaning the van when we picked it up but the sign at the place said to return clean, inside and out. So there’s us for the next 40 odd mins cleaning the outside with paper towels and water

•hotel for the night - a bed!! 😍

•walked 4km to a shopping centre purely to buy an aux-lightning adaptor and an overpriced lunch (pretty banging jacket though)

•chilled in bed for hours before sleep, relishing all the pillows and comforts of not being in a van

90
Sydney

•arrived at Ray and Wendy’s - can’t believe I’m here after years of saying I would be!

•they’ve bought me so much gluten free food it’s unreal - I won’t have to buy any more whilst out here that’s for sure

•catch up over lunch before heading off to manly and dee why

•treated us to ben and Jerry’s at manly

•spag bol for dinner it’s been a while!

91
Sydney

•ray gave us a lift to Taronga zoo for opening time. Keen!

•adding seal keeper to my endless list of career dreams

•still convinced koalas aren’t really and are actually stuffed animals

•thought we’d got away from all the selfie taking Chinese but they’re all here!

•accidentally bunked the ferry into circular quay. Told the guy we thought it was included with the zoo ticket and the bloke just said “oh well you know for next time” and just let us through. Definitely not in London anymore 😂

•explored circular quay and took a poo in the opera house

•city extra for dinner! Most memorable restaurant from 15 years ago. It’s a shame the reason I loved it so much was because of the fettuccine boscaiola.. fuck you gluten

•walked around the rocks which was a lovely little area near to the Harbour bridge with a lot more character than the high rises of the centre

•surrounded by Xmas lights but still not feeling festive! There’s something about being sweaty and hot that it doesn’t feel like December..

92
Sydney

•got a 3 day free trial at a local gym

•walked back through what looked like a path through a park on google maps but actually turned out to be a fire break in the bush. Ended up scaling up the side of rocks just out of stubbornness for not wanting to turn around and go back. Bracing for a snake or spider bite the entire time

•went for fish and chips which Wendy was sure would be able to cater for gluten free but obviously they couldn’t, what with all the batter etc. she thought I could just peel it off but that’s not how it works Wendy soz. Ended up just getting chips for lunch

•had a tour of palm beach and all things Home & Away. Little bit wasted on us as I haven’t watched it since before my brain started actually holding memories but still cool to see

•had some amazing salted caramel gelato 🤤

•drove us around all the northern beaches and showed us Scotland island on which people live but there are no cars - you have to get a small ferry across! So weird for the kids having to get a boat to school

•went to Andrew and Megan’s in the evening and ended up chatting for over 2 hours, completely losing track of time and not leaving until gone 10pm! Very lovely people. They’ve offered for us to stay with them if we go back

•ben was expressing his fear of spiders and said that we were poking at one the other night which turned out to be a very poisonous “trap door spider”. Us returning to Australia depends on if we start poking about with other deadly creatures 😂 oops

93
Sydney

•went to the gym again

•caught the train to Granville, aka the less nice end of Sydney, which took 45 mins just to go to an MMA store

•had Thai for lunch and the yellow curry was just like mama made 😋 obviously found gelato for dessert

•went to the MMA store which is now a car garage. We give up with google!!!!!

•sheltered in 7-11 from lightning

•got the train to another area of Sydney to find a different store which was open, yay, but expensive, boo

•had barramundi, roasted veg and potatoes for dinner and Ben’s favourite part was obviously the potatoes haha. He politely ate the fish though!

94
Blue Mountains

•Wendy woke us up at 7am to leave for 9am even though we said we’d be up just after 8...

•headed off to the blue mountayns but the weather was absolutely shite!

•popped in to see heather at the uni where she works. Sheltered from massive bolts of lightning and really angry thunder. Please don’t take me higher up the mountains ☹️

•managed to drive through the storm but also ended up above the clouds. The blue mountains day out ending up being a white cloud day out

•couldn’t see the waterfalls or three sisters except for when we walked down the really narrow and steep stairs which ben LOVED

•quite cool to be in the clouds but unfortunately not the views we were hoping for!

•went back to heather’s and met her children who are all lovely and friendly. Played fifa and made a best friend in their fluffy cloud of a dog, Micha

•went for a Chinese who actually had gf soy sauce happy daysssssss

95
Sydney

•agreed with Wendy that she wouldn’t wake us up as we are shattered and it’s our last night in a bed for a while

•packed up and went to Bondi before being dropped at central station. Bondi is definitely not the best beach, can’t see the fuss

•walked for 20 mins in the wrong direction looking for a maccers

•no leg room on the train and it’s a 15 hour journey! Slowest train ever too, no wonder it takes so long. I’ve ridden bikes faster than that

•some passengers needed to be kicked off: somebody snoring, a woman with what sounded like whooping cough and some real smelly BO people

•some random guy who looked v stoned made his way down the train asking people for their uneaten bread rolls. He even took our used knife and open butter. He also slept on the floor of the train by the toilets... ok then

•journey alternated from stormy to clear the entire way

•arrived in Brisbane 3.55am 👍🏼

96
Sunshine Coast

•train arrived at 3.53am (Queensland time - they’re an hour behind, weirdly)

•walked around desperately trying to find a maccers, the only places open 24 hours with WiFi

•random guy in maccers from 4am talking on the phone about the garden of eden, Adam and Eve and evolution. Real deep shit. “What’s the earth with no water? Why live in year 1 when you can live in 2018?”

•reignited my love for McDonald’s coffee, probably because 2 hours of broken sleep requires a lot of caffeine

•picked up our camper at 8 - it’s so good! Smaller than the last but sooo much better. Even got a tv

•Australia has not been kind to us weather-wise... considering this is their summer, it looks like British spring but a bit warmer

•arrived at aiden’s place in Sunshine Coast and we went straight to the beach for a surf lesson

•I now fully appreciate why surfers sit for so long waiting for a good wave - it’s so much effort to get back out!! It was like walking on a treadmill against the waves, I wasn’t moving at all. Aiden was a good teacher and we both managed to stand up a couple of times (a few seconds but it counts lol) but the surf was really crazy and not a good day for it apparently

•had my first proper barista coffee and it was penggggg!

•chilled, watched films and played cards

97
Sunshine Coast

•went to Australia zoo which is the home of Steve Irwin and his family

•it was AMAZING. Sooo much bigger than Taronga and the animals had so much room! Best zoo I’ve ever been to

•fell into a sheep pen because apparently you shouldn’t lean against unlocked gates. Obviously there were loads of people about too... Remember that British girl who fell into the sheep pen at the zoo?

•watched a crocodile show and now ben wants a pet croc. No no

•actually got to touch so many animals which was cool

•drove 3 hours south to Kingscliff in the pouring rain and mad traffic

98
Kingscliff

•was gonna go to the gym but woke up with the stiffest neck after sleeping on a pillow the thickness of baking paper

•went to “tweed city” to look around the shops. Ben bought his first book!! And we got finding Nemo and finding dory to watch in the camper tonight

•typical that it’s rained and been grey for days so we plan indoor activities and it’s the bluest sky we’ve had

•walked to McDonald’s to get some WiFi to sort out where we’re going tomorrow which seemed to be just around the corner. It was, but involved walking down slip roads and main roads. You’re allowed to cycle on motorways here though so I’m sure walking up one is fine 🤔

•McDonald’s WiFi wasn’t working, typical. Got an ice cream though

•seeing huge lizards is now the norm apparently

•loving that we have an en suite site at this campsite! No mile walks to the toilet in the middle of the night!

99
Byron Bay

•went to a gym in tweed heads for free - yay! It was a pretty good gym too

•made our way to Byron Bay whilst listening to our new favourite obsession - Casefile podcast. Some Aussie dude going through cases which makes journeys go so much quicker

•arrived at our campsite which is literally family central. It’s kid’s summer holidays now! Piss off

•walked into Byron. Beautiful beaches but it’s full of vegan/hippie/organic backpackers which really isn’t our bag

•somehow ended up in a small parade of men with tambourines wearing togas

•got some mad tan lines just from today

•last camper meal (💔) of bolognese. Gonna miss you Kayne!

100
Brisbane

•drove back to Bris to drop the camper off ☹️ went over the steepest toll bridge

•supposed to clean the camper inside and out but just used the tub of water provided at petrol stations to give it a quick spruce. Ben was mad anxious that they would notice but we got away with it!

•checked into hotel and apparently I was way too eager to have a drink as I smashed a glass literally within a minute of getting into the room. Lady on reception had me on that they were her finest glassware and I owed $50. Witch haha

•also not sure why we need 3 beds but ok

•next to a Westfield (Australia’s west quay chain thing) which was HUGE. My little book worm bought a second book

•forgot our bags so walked around like an organic Lara Croft

101
Brisbane

•dropped our bags off at jake’s parents’ house (who weren’t in) and went to strength sanctuary, a gym I’ve been excited to visit for ages

•had another kebab for lunch, new obsession

•walking through the shopping centre and 2 salesman say to us “where are you guys from?” Apparently we scream tourist 😂

•typical that today is so bloody hot and we are sweating head to toe when we meet jake’s family 🤦🏻‍♀️

•bought a new pair of shoes as my Xmas present from Ben’s mum (after an hour of deliberation and many wobblies that they were too expensive, of course, but I’m in love)

•the weather was blue sky and 36* all day and then suddenly went grey and the strongest wind I have ever felt! Ben got cut by a “fallen tree” which was actually just a twig

•aussies are SO friendly I just can’t get over it. Everyone in the gym came over and said hey to us, Jake’s brother gave us a lift all the way into the city, his mum has just completely opened up her house to us. Too nice

•went for a drink to meet Tom, another of Ben’s friends, and Jake for drinks. Jake “spits the best yarns” which is Aussie for “tells the best stories”. He’s hilarious

•bumped into a guy from the gym at the bar. Such a small world?!?!?

102
Brisbane

•went to the gym again and almost killed ben by leg day. Made some new pals. Did I mention how friendly aussies are? Also killed 30 mins waiting for the bus and got chatting to an elderly lady

•the room is too hot to chill in during the day with no ac so we ended up back in Westfield purely for the air con

•went to Eat Street which is a food market made up shipping containers. It was so cool! Too much choice for hungry cunts like us

•had beef massaman (clearly enjoyed Thai food), a curly potato thing ($6 for one singular potato, oh wow), caramel soft serve and a gluten free DOUGHNUT 😍😍😍

•got the city cat ferry down the river back into town and then the bus home. Think we’ve rode every transport mode possible!

•Brisbane is our favourite city so far in Australia. So much better than Sydney that’s for sure

•ben has taken to looking like a chav disciple

103
Brisbane

•got the bus into town and some guy was literally screaming at the bus driver telling him to “go straight” and “what the fuck are you doing man”. Roid rage??

•went to the museum which had a primate exhibit which taxidermy monkeys. Pretty interesting

•the museum is just over the bridge on the south side but all the shops and food are on the north so literally crossed the bridge about 7 times going back and forth

•found a 100% gluten free jacket potato place which was probably the best lunch I’ve had in a long time

•witnessed instagramming parents taking photos of their food from various angles and different lighting. Poor kids just wanted to eat

•explored south bank which has a man made beach and other cool shit but kids also find this area very cool

•tried to read and chill but interrupted by kids throwing rocks at each other

•jakes 3 legged dog, Hugo, has some crazy willpower

•played cards, ping pong and had some ciders with jake and his brother for hours until jake won a game 😂

104
Gold Coast

•jake got us into his gym for free, good man and also showed us around his garden at all the spider species. Ben swiftly went back inside

•felt a bit in the way at his house on Xmas eve with all his family turning up so we headed into town early ready to get our coach down to Gold Coast

•found out that it stops a lot closer to where we’re staying than where we’ve booked.. asked driver if we could stay on another stop and “the more the merrier!”

•had to do a woolies shop in 15 mins and I couldn’t handle the pressure. We came out with sausages and pot noodles for our Christmas food 😳 also tried to find Santa hats but no luck!

•new campsite doesn’t provide any cutlery or cooking equipment except microwaves and bbqs???? What is this shit

•Thai takeaway for dinner hell yeah

105
Gold Coast

•Christmas!! So weird that it’s hot. It’s not Xmas, just another day for us!

•only place open is a gelato shop, not that I was complaining... visited twice

•explored the beaches, coast and even crossed into NSW (where it’s an hour difference, so weird)

•found a couple wearing Santa hats and asked if we could borrow them for a minute to take a photo, thanks random couple

•feel like we walked the entire east coast! 26k steps later

•Australians do Christmas VERY differently. All get our gazebos and gather on/near the beaches having bbqs, surfing and swimming. Definitely seems a lovely day but it’s not a traditional christmas

•Australians are the friendliest people ever, except on Xmas day?!😂 they are very absorbed in their own crowds, compared to British people saying merry Christmas to anybody they see

•our Christmas menu today consisted of: pot noodles, bbq’d sausages, gelato and leftover yellow curry. Nothing can make up for missing home cooked roast

106
Gold Coast

•walked around some more and had more gelato, naturally

•threw away a couple of kilos of crap we haven’t used/worn!

•read on the beach and went in the sea for the last time. I’m definitely going to miss the Australian beaches. Gold Coast is definitely the most beautiful!

•had Mexican for dinner, and a lot of it, to make up for our lack of food yesterday

•definitely really missing home at the moment. Maybe sad that we’re leaving Aus or that it’s Christmas, but I would give anything to pop home for a few days!

107
Gold Coast

•managed to get into a gym for free. Stood by the door waiting for staff to let me in but nobody was there. A member ended up opening the door for me so I just went in and cracked on😂

•took our microfiber travel towels to use for the first time but they don’t dry you, only spread the water over your skin! Binned the towels and used paper towels instead

•chilled in the library killing time before our flight. Whoever invented these reading seats is a hero

•another pair of shoes bites the dust :(

•had a mini meltdown at the airport that we’re getting even further away from home. It’s getting harder to just pop back for a little bit but onto a new country and new adventures!

•Gold Coast airport is weird. You go through security to domestic departures with restaurants and shops etc (all like 4 of them anyway) and then you have to go through ANOTHER security to international departures

•ordered a portion of chips 20 mins before boarding time and had to wait 10 mins (fresh, eh) before being presented with a portion big enough for the entire plane. Had to take them on board to finish

•delayed due to the back door not closing which, I would assume, is quite a crucial part of the plane you’d want to close....

•arrived in Auckland at the very social time of midnight! Come through customs and the declaration form asks if you’ve been in contact with animals other than cats or dogs so the first thing ben says is “hello mate yeah we touched some goats at the zoo” hahaha

•Drove back to Kate’s and chatted over toast and leftover Xmas dinner 👍🏼

108
Auckland

•didn’t get to sleep until 4am NZ time. My body clock is still on Australian time! Then woke up at midday... oops

•taken on a quick local tour by Simon and Sam, going to the Arataki information centre and a beach where the sand is black and where loads of birds gather on the rocks (the only place on-shore in NZ they do!)

•I love the kiwi accent so much. They say “fush and chups” and apparently “deery” means dairy, not where they keep deer, obviously lucy 🙄 it’s like South African meets Aussie

•went to Kate’s sister’s house who has 16 acres of land, horses, goats, ducks, tennis court.. basically a NZ manor

•her husband is the spit of gonny, it’s quite weird!! He’s even colourblind. I think they’re long lost twins

•local winery makes the best rosé😏

•accidentally paid a little too much interest in the horses so now I’ve been promised a riding lesson. Can not wait

109
Titirangi

•went into New Lynn to grab some t shirts as I am desperately running out. And Ben, who has been moaning that he has TOO MANY, also needed more apparently

•ben has contracted gaybadaids. Gutted mate 😂😂

•tried to find gf pizza bases but could only find a mix. Came out more like a thick pie crust but was decent enough

•pizza day on Simon’s “beck lawn” which consisted of him burning wood and drinking beers all day. Day well spent really

•they have a dozen crates of cider left over from Christmas that we are more than happy to help finish 😏

•(tried to) learn carnage gin which is literally what it says on the tin: carnage

•their cat, Charlie, is the fattest most adorable cat in the world

110
Algies Bay

•managed to get into sam’s day on a 4 day free trial. He said it was a shit gym but it was pretty good actually. Prob shit in kiwi terms

•went to a supplement store and found carb killers 😍 and bought some protein, yay!

•went to Algies Bay which is north of Auckland to simon’s brother’s place which is right on the shore. Amazing views (and god didn’t he know it)

•ben fell in love with his electric scooter. Something else to save for...

•meanwhile, I fell in love with the tractor

•had a pretty awesome bbq. Whatever the aussies are known for, the kiwis definitely do better!!

111
Titirangi

•felt a bit awkward waking up at his brothers place and it was his sons bday... hey happy bday sorry there are 2 British strangers asleep on your sofa

•they all went off to the driving range but we didn’t want to intrude so we hung back and went to Omaha beach for a walk instead

•stopped by Charlie’s gelato which was absolutely fucking fantastic. Coffee and walnut gelato wow

•went to the driving range whilst they all went for bday lunch. Couldn’t get the hang of it for ages but when I did I loved it!

•ben beat me at mini golf by 1 point the bellend

•ate an entire chicken for lunch

•drove to Kate’s sister’s in the middle of nowhere again to commence NYE celebrations

•wasn’t told that it would be the entire family and heaps of her friends too... Strangers kept turning up every 5 mins and obviously my anxiety started kicking off at the perfect timing, yay. Didn’t particularly want to spend nye there but definitely didn’t want to leave in that fashion. Yay me

•ben drove us back to Kate’s house and we drank, played cards and listened to music to see in the new year which actually turned out to be perfect

•Kate’s brother in law, matt (who is actually gonnys long lost twin I swear), has lended ben a guitar for our NZ travels. One more thing to carry around 😂

112
Titirangi

•hungover (ben, not me) lazy day

•only time we left the house was to walk up the road to get magnums

•gf oats are like $13 here or $2 for normal ones. For the sake of saving money I tried some normal ones and was reasonably bloated and uncomfortable but I’ll save the tenner please 😂

•belated Xmas present from Kate and Simon: 3 hour kayak trek down a river into glow worm caves!

•IN LOVE with their cat Charlie. He’s a good enough Winston replacement for now

•gym again. Got in for free again

•went on a bush walk with Simon and lily which leads to a dam. All of Auckland’s drinking water comes from these waterfalls and dams which is pretty cool!

•first time I’ve ever had to wash my shoes before going into a forest... (to stop the spread of some tree disease thing) very weird!

•New Zealand is such a nicer climate. Still warm and sunny but not as humid and sticky as Australia

•had an Indian and it was the best and most English one we’ve had since leaving home 😋

113
Titirangi

•got to the gym third time lucky after having to turn around twice to get things Sam had forgotten

•kate booked an appointment at the bank to open up an account for us but when we got there it was closed... ok then

•she dropped us off at arataki visitor centre as apparently there’s a nice, downhill walk back to there house about 5km

•lovely views walking through the bush

•ended up at the very bottom of their road and realised very quickly that we must’ve gone wrong somewhere... the route back to their house was entirely uphill! We were going to phone them and ask to be picked up but we were stuborn (and embarrassed) and treked it out

•1.5 hours later we arrive at the house dripping with sweat. Never trust ben with remembering instructions 😂

•cracks me up that ben originally wanted to cycle the whole of NZ. I think he now appreciates that a country pretty much made up of volcanoes is a bit challenging for that..

114
Titirangi

•kate and co have all gone on holiday for the next 6 days so we’ve got the house to ourselves! Woo

•went shopping and stocked up on supplies. I miss food shopping 😂 so sad

•ben was excited that they have Wendy’s here so obviously had to try it for lunch. It was the weirdest fast food restaurant I’ve ever been in. For one the floor was carpeted and it had about 4 customers, all of whom were practically artifacts they were so old

•the drinks are HUGE!? Nobody needs that much coke with a tiny burger surely

•watched films, ate homecooked food and played games all day😊

•their cat, Rosie, does the most random thing I’ve ever known a cat to do. Every evening she’ll bring in leaves from the garden and sit by them, meowing really loudly until you come to appreciate her leaf. So cute but so odd

115
53 Huia Rd, Titirangi, Auckland 0604, New Zealand

•ben made me breakfast in bed, what does he want?? Bless him, has never cut up a banana before and gave me a side of all the stringy bits cos he thought I liked them 😂

•went to a Westfield shopping centre to have a look around. Aussies do shopping centres better that’s for sure

•ben had his first megamac. This man is truly addicted to McDonald’s. We spent £120 on it in December alone. And I can’t eat McDonald’s so that’s all him!!

•he bought a preworkout with his Xmas money

•made a yellow curry for dinner which was actually the closest to the real thing in a while

•started a Harry Potter marathon (from number 3 though everyone knows what happens in the first 2)

•got a new feline friend in Charlie. Sleeping with us every night now!

116
53 Huia Rd, Titirangi, Auckland 0604, New Zealand

•woken up by a padding Charlie. This cat meows, purrs and pads all the time!

•went to the gym. Fell over about 4 times

•cleaned the house a little bit - they’re such food hoarders! 3 fridge/freezers in the house and they’re all fucking full. Found some shit that went out of date in 2011 too

•went to mount Eden which is a dormant volcano (as is every hill/mountain in NZ). Pretty cool to see the crater and a 360 view of Auckland!

•first roast dinner since leaving home😍

117
61 Huia Rd, Titirangi, Auckland 0604, New Zealand

•went to the zoo but the car park was full so we thought fuck that we’ll go another day when it’s not kids holidays

•went into Auckland city instead. Pretty cool place

•ripped off $12 for a chicken/rice Mexican meal which was essentially all salad

•massively underwhelmed by the sky tower jump. It’s not a bungee at all, more of a controlled fall. I’ve seen snow fall faster

•some hillbilly looking matey started talking to us whilst we were watching the jump. Offered for us to work at his dairy farm. You’re alright mate but thanks

•brought more stunning leaves by Rosie and fell asleep with less bed than usual thanks to Charlie

118
Auckland

•found our new gym! It does bjj too and has all the extras like resistance bands, foam rollers and different bars

•had my first kiwi kiwi. Can confirm it was the best

•went to pack n save which is essentially a Costco but for everyday shopping. Found gf special k and my life is made ❤️

•walked up one tree hill (it used to have only 1 tree but that was cut down for a monument so really it’s one monument hill). Walking around NZ is like the new forest but filled with sheep instead of horses

•crazy cool views of Auckland again and could see Rangitoto, a volcano island which we are gonna climb at some point

119
Auckland

•this gym is SO COOL. They even donate a percentage of your membership to a gorilla charity which is a nice touch

•officially have more than 5 colours in my hair. Will McFly sing about me now?

•found some cheap shorts and walking shoes for the hikes we have planned in the South Island. Ben is a shoe snob and said he’ll stick with his air maxes 🙄

•they have a company called Hell Pizza out here which is their most popular and they do gf bases and sooo many different toppings. I got the “savior” which is supposedly nz’s healthiest pizza and they weren’t bloody lying. I think I ate a whole field of mushrooms from it

•taught the board game Catan which is our new obsession. It’s a tactical monopoly and Ben gets very very sassy with it (competitive cunt)

120
Auckland

•gym again. Maybe I should stop writing this journal if we’re just gonna go to the gym and eat? 😂

•blended a frozen banana with protein powder and ive created protein ice cream. Sir lucy sugar?

•opened our NZ joint account! How exciting

•did the second half of the walk that we should’ve done last week when we took the wrong turn. Was definitely a lot easier than the route we took

•steak for dinner. NZ need just tastes soooo much better I swear!!

•played catan all evening on our iPads vs each other while Sam waited for his jelly to set lol

121
53 Huia Rd, Titirangi, Auckland 0604, New Zealand

•only going to update every few days now we’re working and not doing much!

•went to the cricket last Friday which was cool. Black caps v Sri Lanka. They give you free train journeys with your ticket which I thought was a good idea

•most awkward journey there ever though! We got split up on the platform so I ended up sitting with Kate’s dad (mr hillier himself - poshest man I have ever met in my life) and their friend who were discussing golf and various other crap. I quietly played my game

•mad red sky over the pitch(?)

•made it on tv where we both look less than amused (and I resemble Michael Jackson)

•went to watch Sam play cricket but he hurt his back which I was selfishly happy about. Too much cricket for me thanks

•in love with the sunset views they get from their balcony 🥰

•went to the car fair and bought our pride and joy - Sybil the Suzuki! $3k which isn’t bad for a 2007 car which barely much mileage!

•bought and (eventually) fitted a new head unit as the original was all in Japanese and a lady would speak through the speakers every now and then. Creepy

•had our first roast dinner since we left home! And my first bath in god knows how many months

•officially obsessed with the board game catan. They’re gonna regret teeching us it... we play every day😂

•started our jobs as “decontamination specialists” which is essentially deep cleaning a house that’s been used as a meth lab or has had meth smoked in

•working with a mauri guy named Laz who’s pretty cool. Basically just spray a load of foam and mop down the ceilings, walls and floor a bunch of times until the tests come back within a safe range. Took us 7 cleans of this tiny unit over 2 days!

122
Auckland

•definitely due an update!

•watched a few butterflies emerge from cocoons that Kate has been trying to breed

•worked at another location which was actually a full blown meth lab. The garage was secretly being used by a Chinese family’s son to cook meth until the police busted it. He’s currently in prison but they “still love him though”

•the house is in such a nice area it’s literally like Beverly Hills. Last place you’d expect a meth lab though!

•they have a dog and 2 of the most beautiful puppies. Think they’re some sort of lab/bulldog/staffie cross and I am going to find one some day! Didn’t do much on breaks apart from get covered in slobber

•working 12 hour days of manual labour has been killing us so apart from working and eating we’ve been sleeping. Love it though

•Laz is teaching us all about Maori culture which is really cool. They still have tribes and stuff, every Maori is a member of one! Love that their culture is still so prominent. So different to Australia and the aborigines

•he locked his keys in the house before leaving one day but we broke in through a window using a coat hanger. “Trust the Maori to know how to break into a house”😂

•ben learnt not to rip his suit and repair it up with red tape...

•went to Waiheke Island which was beautiful. Apparently some crazy percentage of all NZ weddings happen on the tiny island. 2/3s of the island is owned by some rich guy and is all his farmland and vineyards

•saw the cutest little chapel right on the beach

•explored local areas, beaches and walks. NZ is so beautiful and we haven’t even left Auckland yet!!

123
Auckland

How to clean meth:

-remove all carpets, doors and curtains

-sand all remaining wood (door frames, skirts, cupboards etc)

-cover all switches/alarm sensors/wires in electrical tape

-degrease (special chemical sprayed throughout house, mopped, jet washed and then vac’d)

-meth clean however many times it takes to bring levels down (another special chemical sprayed on ceilings and walls, mopped, jet washed, repeat)

-vac up all water from cielings, walls and floor

-pray to god it’s enough and hope the samples test within legal limit that you don’t have to repeat again

Things I love/hate about this job:

👍🏼wearing gas masks and full suits means you can fart at anytime and nobody can hear or smell

👎🏼burping in your gas mask after lunch

👎🏼wearing full suits and gas masks in the heat

👍🏼music all day

👍🏼paid for half of lunch break

👍🏼can take breaks whenever

👎🏼sometimes feeling a bit dizzy if a room has very high levels of meth

👍🏼doing a “man’s job”

👎🏼feeling a little inferior that I’m weaker than Laz and Ben

👍🏼but I keep up ok I think

👍🏼being on my feet all day and not sat at a desk

👎🏼sweat running down my entire body

👍🏼feel like I’m earning my money and feeling physically worked

👎🏼being too tired to go to the gym after work

👍🏼if the work’s done you go home, no waiting around trying to looking busy

124
Auckland

•explored some local areas like Cornwallis, Karekare and Huia

•NZ is my favourite country ever and we haven’t even left Auckland yet! The landscape is just so rugged and beautiful 😍

125
Tāwharanui Regional Park

•simon’s given us his tent and camping gear and assured us his weather app is correct and the weather is due to be lovely...

•set off for tawharanui regional park, about 1.5 hours north of Auckland city

•road trips in NZ will never ever be boring! The landscape is just so rugged and angular, it’s beautiful. I’ve never found hills so interesting 😂

•arrived at the camp site and it’s literally a field next to the beach (cool) .... with only long drop toilets that smell worse than a farm (not so cool)

•had the entire beach to ourself! Absolute paradise

•grey clouds soon came in so we retired to our dry tent to wake up 5 hours later practically sailing our blow up mattress on the lake that had formed inside. Again, not so cool

•packed up early, absolutely soaking wet, and headed home

•all in all a lovely, scenic drive, beautiful regional park and beach, just don’t trust Simon and his equipment that is older than NZ itself

126
Auckland

•went to the zoo

•kinda shot ourselves in the foot by going to Australia zoo as nothing will ever top that! Also, seeing elephants now is just like seeing a pigeon

•why don’t zoos ever have logical routes??? Just a circle would be fine! We missed the seals and penguins ☹️

•amazed by the enormous tortoises but more amazed by the fat off camera this woman had. Budding nature photographer or too much money old bint?

127
Hahei

•set off for Hahei which is on the coromandel peninsula

•people weren’t kidding when they said places in NZ literally have one road in and one road out! Places look simple enough to get to but when you zoom into the map you’ll see the roads are constantly winding up and down mountains

•will never EVER get bored of NZ road trips ❤️

•stopped by Mount Paku which we proceeded to climb, not knowing the summit can only be reached by climbing up rocks. Ben was rightfully worried about me but I made it 😊

•stunning views from the top! Worth scaling rocks for. Have you ever seen water SO BLUE?! I was amazed by Auckland alone.. travel 2 hours and things just get even more beautiful

•continued on to Hahei and set up camp - our new pop up $50 Kmart tent which I am not overly convinced will be any better than simon’s antique

•started the “50 minute” walk to cathedral cove which was practically all up hill. I love walking but man these hills are killing me 🥵

•45 minutes later and we had only reached the car park of cathedral cove. Hmm I don’t believe your 50 mins, google!!

•joined the path to the cove which was filled with tourists and backpackers. First backpackers we’ve seen since Australia - I forgot how much I hated them

•got to stingray bay and decided to stop here rather than continue to cathedral cove (especially as the sign said ANOTHER 45 mins....)

•sooo glad we did! Managed to get the whole cove to ourselves, sat on the rocks watching the tide come in and admiring the cliffs. Hands down my favourite spot I’ve ever been

•feel like we’re in Jurassic park with this rugged landscape

•went for a wee in the night and was blown away by how clear the stars were. I almost woke ben up to come outside and look but I know that wouldn’t have been appreciated lol

•survived the night in our pop up tent (that our blow up bed barely fit in but we’ll ignore that) and only got a slight bit damp!

128
Auckland

•work haven’t needed us for the past few days (lack of jobs) so we’ve not been up to much!

•went to the cinema a couple of times to escape from the heat. Kiwi cinemas are so fucking dark I don’t understand?!?! They don’t even have any lights on before or after the film.. either you need to be an owl or have your phone torch out to find your seat

•been for a few walks but mainly just been chilling and taking advantage of the rest before the storm that is HOY comes

•went to the original Auckland night market which was cool but didn’t have as much gluten free food as I anticipated (it was EVERYWHERE at Aus night markets!). So jealous of Ben’s Chinese and cheesecake but he made it up to me by getting some halo top 🥳

•had to go to the other side of Auckland for some “training” on the fences we have to put up on our first day of HOY. This consisted of watching a man put together a fence for all of 5 mins

•getting ready to leave for Hastings was a bit emotional - like leaving home all over again! Going to miss our little Auckland life but we’ll be back soon

129
910 Rata St, Mahora, Hastings 4120, New Zealand

•got up early to start our 6 hour drive down south to Hastings

•shitty day but literally driving through the clouds was pretty cool

•stopped in taupo for lunch but the mist meant we couldn’t actually see the lake!

•made it to Hastings in good time and dropped our stuff off at the place we’re staying. The guy’s a chef but literally has no basic equipment (no oven trays or cheese grater?!) and has never used his oven/stove! Pretty much filled his cupboards in fridge within 5 mins of arriving 🤭

•did a food shop, joined a gym for 50 bucks each and meal prepped for work all within an hour. So organised it hurts

•popped our burger fuel cherries and it was bloody amazing except not entirely sure worth the $52?

130
910 Rata St, Mahora, Hastings 4120, New Zealand

•first day at work and only ben and I in

•trish (our boss/Kate’s friend) wanted us down early to build the main arena surround fence fhat was delivered in 40,000 pieces!

•nearly cried, kicked shit and left within 30 mins of trying to build the white picket fences

•eventually found a rhythm and made 90/180 of them in 9 hours

•the guy we’re staying with is a chef yet he doesn’t even know if his stove and oven works?! We’ve practically taken over his entire kitchen with all our food 🤷🏻‍♀️ probably better for us that he never cooks at home as that means more room in the fridge...

•his girlfriend takes 45 min showers at a time about 2-3 times a day. How dirty can somebody be!!!!! Pretty sure she’s taking huge dumps and covering it up with showers

131
Hawkes Bay A&P Show

•first week done and we are shattered!! Worked 12 hours everyday and finally got today off (but we love it)

•this week we have:

-put up over 200 stables, of which there were 3 different kinds varying in weight. Got a load of Maori security guards and agency people to help us. Never felt so old in my life with them around!! They kept calling me “girl” or “miss”.. MY NAME IS LUCY

-driven a forklift, a “ute” (utility truck, aka a hilux), reversed the Ute with a trailer, a quad bike, a can am quad gator thing and an Audi Q5. I want my forklift license now lol

-put up the sponsorship signage around the main arena. I loved that job but ben hated it as it involved no heavy lifting 😂

-erected too many yards to count. My least favourite job ever

-so many other odd jobs that are too tedious or boring to write about/remember

•averaging about 25k steps a day

•got some pretty impressive bruises all over my body. The weirdest ones being on the backs of my legs where I’ve lent against the ladder all day. I bruise like a peach is an understatement!

•always got some pretty sexy tan lines and some lovely sunburn on my neck. NZ sun is so intense

•got my first bee sting!! Welcome to Hawke’s Bay 😂👍🏼

132
Napier

•finished setting up for the event to officially start on the 12th

•got radios and I secretly feel like a spy. Never felt so important ever. Getting used to radio lingo is tricky though “copy that” lol

•the guy we’re staying with is very nice but we found out Katie (who we’re working with) has only known him for 2 months and met him on tinder. Could be a secret psycho! He is a bit odd... but lovely

•his girlfriend has stopped coming round and showering. Not sure if she knows she was pissing us off or if they’ve broken up..?? Either way at least I can piss whenever I want to!

•been informed that “code black” means dead horse and that we need to come and forklift it away. Fingers crossed that doesn’t happen!

•starting to learn why people hate doing events. Done so many jobs that have either needed to be undone as it was too early or not done to their pretentious liking. Fuck off and do it yourself

•went to kris’ house for a bbq whose house was amazing! Was nice to see people out of high vis and not caked in dust and shit

•if there was a world’s worst tan line competition, Ben would win hands down

133
Napier

•the event started on Tuesday and we definitely underestimated just how mental it would be. There are horses EVERYWHERE! You look out the office window and there’s about 5 horses just walking by at once

•trish’s promise that Ben wouldn’t have to go near the horses was definitely misleading 😂 you can’t NOT go near them

•event week is pretty quiet for us. If we’re not busy then that’s a good thing!! Mornings consist of meeting the parking volunteers to give them radios and the float, fixing any stables that have beeen booted in by a huge horse and just general jobs with things that have gone wrong overnight

•apart from that we sit around and wait to be called to issues! The last 2 days we’ve filled in “puddles” (was more like the Nile) with lime, moved a fence that we put up last week as the boss wanted it 5 meters longer 🙄 and looked after our 15 or so volunteers

•possibly have our first code black... a horse got itself tangled in its rope overnight and managed to flip itself and possibly fracture its hip. Fingers crossed it pulls through and doesn’t have to be put down!

•apart from odd jobs we are literally just sat in the office waiting for work. I miss being busy and physical all day!!

•ben has made friends with one singular horse that is in a stable right by the office (he touched it once and it’s now his favourite horsey)

•it’s about 27-30 degrees everyday and it’s so muggy🥵

•bought some new work boots and my oh my they are fucking beautiful😍 #tradie4life

134
Napier

•it’s been an eventful last few days!

•luckily the injured horse seems to be showing improvement so has not yet had to be put down. Fingers crossed! Bless the lady. We’ve built a temporary yard around it and she is very thankful for everything we’ve done

•many incidents of racism and general abuse been reported: a woman calling the security guys “black monkeys”, the same woman accusing a security guy of making advances on her and claiming he was homeless when SHE was in the male showers?! A guy also drove straight through a security block without paying (I can think of many better events to break into than this) and some little kid is going around selling nos canisters. For our first impression of horsey people, it’s not good!! 😤

•we had to put up a stage within a 5 minute break in the premier arena. Had the whole grandstand watching us which gave me stage freight (no pun intended haha). We finish it and begin to leave and then we’re suddenly in a circle of galloping horses. Ben was not happy hahhaa

•not so much sitting around the last few days, loads of random odd jobs popping up all the time! Delivering the pizza guy 120kg of cheese was my personal highlight (with the promise of free pizza for Ben)

•also did a delivery for a pie vendor and he gave me a whole gluten free cake 😍love you pie man

•55 hours so far this week and we’ve still got 2 days left and a whole week of packdown. Will be sad when it’s over but man I can’t wait to sleep for more than 5 hours at a time

•Christchurch mosque shootings happened yesterday and so had a few meetings about our risk. Luckily the police put us on alert but took us off relatively quickly

135
910 Rata St, Mahora, Hastings 4120, New Zealand

•so show week was... interesting. Long hours starting at 5.30am and random odd jobs every day. Ben now loves horses though and we are going to Kate’s sister’s to ride when we get back to Auckland 😂

•really cool to see some of the stuff but it has also confirmed that I don’t like rich, horsey people

•marshaled in the cross country and that was good to see up close. Ben took his role very seriously (telling people what to do seems to come naturally to him!)

•touched THE softest horse ever

•had to check all the yards as/when people checked out so they get their deposits back. Not so fun

•had to re-wind all the Gallagher fencing tape which was an absolute b i t c h. I am an absolute innovator though, put the 2 rolls on a stick so they could spin. Lady lucy sugar

•trish has started a list of “Lucy-isms” because they have realized that I am an idiot. For example, when Ben said “when you’re at sea you use..” and I asked “where’s C?” or the fact that I thought the horses in the cross country wouldn’t have riders 🤷🏻‍♀️

•first time I’ve prayed for rain. It’s SO dusty it’s crazy!!

•we’ve nicknamed the huge pile of manure mount poovius

•fucked up my wrist somehow (keep waking up with pins and needles all in my forearm and hand) but used my time off heavy lifting to perfect backing up the ute and trailer

•picked up so many random skills and vocabulary from working here! putting and removing warritahs (or waripus as ben calls them), horsey lingo, stillages, driving a forklift, reversing trailers, driving golf carts and gators, putting up stables and using strops. All round labour lad

136
Napier

•last day of work was pretty shit. Just doing loads of site sweeps, picking up little bits and just generally tidying

•had a yard fall on me and found a 2D bag. Deliriously tired and this was way funnier than it should have been

•a little bittersweet. Can’t wait to sleep and travel South Island but will miss the work and people

•went out for a team dinner and they had gf brownie 🤤🤤

•met so many awesome (and not so awesome) people:

-trish, our boss, Kate’s friend and the slave driver (but a good one)

-kris. Either went 100mph or 0. Crossfitter but would take the piss out of himself. Called ben Bear

-Stef. Tahitian girl who taught us how to drive the forklift, tele handler and just about every manual labour skill under the sun. Possibly one of the most genuinely nice person we’ve ever met

-Katie. Local girl who’s never left NZ. A little annoying at first but she grew on us and eventually really liked her

-Denzel. Samoan security guard who got roped into helping us out a lot (man he was strong). Lives in Auckland so we’re going to meet up with him to train

-Mac. Samoan head of security. We sang happy birthday to him in Samoan when we gave him a cake with relighting candles (which he hated)

-Lance. Another security guard who seemed to practically live at the Showgrounds. Missing most of his teeth but a sweet guy who loved to talk

-Jeff (or Jeffo when on radio so as not to be confused with Stef). Auckland westie who invented the “pooper scooper” trailer and nicknamed the shit pile “mount poovius”. Constant debates about whether it should be soccer or football

-Debs. Katie’s mum who sorted out the yarding of horses. Such a funny, lovely lady who everyone ended up calling mum (even trish)

•went to visit Katie’s house to see her alpacas and horses. Her driveway was 1km long which was essentially longleat - driving past ostrich, sheep, pigs and deer!

•got spat at directly in the face by an alpaca. Cheers mate

•considering ben wouldn’t even go within 2 metres of a horse a month ago, he is now a fully fledged horse whisperer!!

137
Wellington

•went to the gym for the last time (and what also felt like the first)

•packed up our Hastings room and said bye to Daniel. Such a good host! Literally left us to it and let us take over his kitchen

•started our 4 hour trip down to Wellington

•checked in to our air bnb which is lovely. Just the spare room with an en suite but we have our own entrance out the back. This neighbourhood is literally like kissimmeee; everything is like a villa!

•walked down by the river and to an Indian

•slept for 11 hours. Needed

138
Wellington

•somehow managed to bunk the train into Wellington centre. The ticket office was closed so you have to buy the tickets on the train but with cash only. We only had card! Luckily the guy walked straight past us 😂

•walked along the waterfront and went to the Te Papa museum

•really cool and well thought out exhibitions. Also some of maddest sculptures (is that what you call them??) ever! So lifelike it was almost creepy

•found an international street food market which had heaps of gluten free options. Naked burrito and gf churros YES PLEASE

•found a treacherous mini bush walk

•I like Wellington! It has a very scandic but kiwi feel to it

•walked around the city some more before heading back to our air bnb for microwave/kettle meals (cheap skateness is in full swing now)

139
Wellington Interislander Ferry Terminal, Wellington Ferry Terminal 1 Aotea Quay, Pipitea, Wellington 6011, New Zealand

•up at 4am to catch the interislander ferry

•a little rockier than expected but not the worst (it’s going to be hard to ever top the Koh tao boat journey) but ben spent most of the ride with his head in his lap as he “prefers bigger boats” 🙄

•wish we hadn’t got such an early crossing as the views coming into the South were slightly hidden by morning mist but still the most scenic ferry I’ve ever taken

•South Island is just as stunning as the north, if not more! Definitely more mountainous. No photos will ever show how amazing the views are

•drove straight to Nelson for Pic’s peanut butter factory tour

•sat and waited for our tour time to be announced, came round the corner to start and was then confronted with a nursery group and staff. We are literally the only adults not with the nursery. Sorry ben haha

•our tour guide was “on trial” so was really pretty shite to the honest but I felt sorry for the bloke. And it was very much tailored to the under 3 audience. Sorry again ben

•most excited for freebies and all that was offered was crushing peanuts to make your own. Obviously the bastard kids got first dibs. We walked out whilst the tour people were distracted. What an absolute waste of time

•on to Abel Tasman! Checked in to our campsite which is really nice but just full of backpackers. Most hostel-y place we’ve been so far

•so awkward using the shared kitchen when there are several people in there cooking (full on gourmet meals, too?!?) in silence. So awkward lol

•definitely living up to our bear(grills) names. Tarp over our cheap pop up tent = hope of not getting wet

140
Abel Tasman National Park

•woke up to a pretty sunrise

•ben tried to save a dying bee (which was the size of a small bird) by feeding it energy drink. Pretty sure he just catalysed its death

•drove half an hour to the nearest shop. When you’re in the sticks in NZ, you’re really in the sticks

•stocked up on snacks, water and lunch for our hike through Abel Tasman

•set off at 10.30ish prepared for a 4.5 hour hike from the start of the coastal track to anchorage

•ended up taking just over 3 hours! Luckily managed to change our aqua taxi to earlier otherwise we’d have been sat around for a few hours the other end

•found a little Lanny bridge

•amazing views of the coast, Adele island and the Bush. Some rough terrain but nothing too difficult, except for the last 1km which was all downhill and steep (trying to watch my dad tackle this would’ve been funny)

•aqua taxi back was so much fun. Felt like we were riding in a bath tub with an engine on the back

•when we reached Marahau the boat was driven straight onto a trailer being towed by a tractor which then drove us back into town. First time riding a boat on a trailer, let alone behind a tractor 😂

•forecast heavy rain so packed up the tent and slept in the car instead. Starting to think all of this camping shit we bought was a waste of money....

141
Christchurch

•woke up to about 800 bites from my toes up to my head, including my face. The roof of our car is now a mosquito cemetery (and a blood bath)

•absolutely pissing it down so very happy we slept in the car, despite the bites

•set the alarm for 6am to get on the road early down to franz Josef

•got a phone call from Simon to warn us the bridge between franz Josef and Fox Glacier has been washed away in the storms and we should change our plans. Sat in the car stressing about what to do but finally decided heading straight to Christchurch would be best! Managed to get a refund for our accommodation due to the road closures and our skydive (☹️💔)

•although it was raining for most of 6/7 hour journey, the South Island is absolutely stunning. Never knew how much I loved mountain scenery until we came here

•checked into an air bnb. The old guy loves to bloody talk doesn’t he

•went to the gym whilst Ben had a nap. No more grumpy lucy hooray!!

•finally had a gluten free wrap at subway. 7/10, good filling but the wrap was like wrapping paper. They’re so accommodating for gf though.. ask if you want the sides wiped down and their gloves changed

•asleep by 8pm. Apparently sleeping in the car and waking up every couple of hours does not equate to being well rested

142
91 Main N Rd, Geraldine 7930, New Zealand

•went to the gym again yay (without ben, he’s pretty ill. Think the man’s allergic to camping)

•drove to Geraldine down the straightest and flattest roads we’ve seen in NZ. Pretty boring drive really!

•checked into our cute cabin and explored the area which took all of 5 mins as it’s such a small town. Chilled and napped to try and heal ben

•went to an amateur astronomer’s house in the evening to experience his garden observatories. Luck was on our side and it was such a clear night! I thought looking through a microscope would be a lot clearer but it was still really cool to see and to talk to him. The man is proper knowledgeable

•he volunteers for NASA and looks out for asteroids from NZ for them!

•he had over $100k worth of kit in his back garden and is pretty much nocturnal, always out there looking at the sky and doing astro-photography. His poor wife 😂

143
Akaroa

•woke up absolutely freezing. South Island is definitely colder!

•drove to Akaroa down really windy, mountainous roads

•passed some sort of incident where firemen were giving cpr ☹️

•stuck behind some slow twat doing half the speed limit on the mountain roads. Took a “short cut” which then turned into a long cut as Ben decided he was suddenly Schumacher and made me car sick so I couldn’t actually look at my phone to direct us

•this place is beautiful! The detour was worth the views, even if I did want to hurl my guts up

•really quaint town with a huge French influence. Feel like we’re in the alps!

•guy on reception told us “15 minutes” to walk down into town, which was accurate, but failed to mention this was down a pretty vertical hill and so the walk back up was 15 minutes + many more + the taste of blood in my throat + a very fast heart rate

•crazy views from our cabin. Favourite place we’ve been - scenery wise - so far ❤️

•ben is sad we don’t have a long road trip today. I am happy about that 😂

•set off for Christchurch (only 2 hours) and escaped feeling sick

•exploited a shopping centre’s free hour parking to look around the city. It’s so quiet here?! Definitely an air of sadness after the recent mosque attack

•visited the white chair memorial for the 2011 earthquake. Very artistic and different way of remembering those killed

•ben finalllllly got a haircut. No more hobo ben (except the beard is still a little hoboey)

•went to “new Brighton” - everywhere is named after English places I swear - which was a little seaside town. Too cold for beach today though thanks!

•donated all of our camping stuff to the Red Cross. Did us well for our one night of camping eh lol

•headed to air bnb and staying with a lovely Dutch couple. They’re so sweet!! Lazy afternoon as ben is still pretty sick

•gave burger fuel another go as the last one wasn’t entirely worth the money. This time it was amazing!! Second best gf burger ever after the Phnom Penh one 👍🏼

144
Christchurch

•went to a really cool gym in the morning whilst Ben stayed in bed

•checked out of Dutch people’s place and went to the airport ready to kill time waiting for my parents to arrive

•their flight was delayed so literally had a wee in the airport then left to walk around a reserve and watched jet skiers on the lake

•waited in the arrivals hall in suspense!! Gave them 10 mins after landing before standing by the exit door 😂 safe to say we were there for a while

•finally they came through and it was so weird to see them in the actual flesh after so long! Mum only cried a little bit

•chucked them into another vehicle (poor them probably just want to walk for miles now) and headed 2 hours to Geraldine

•checked into air bnb that was wifiless but very comfortable. They had an ironing board that looked like something from ww2. Probably the oldest item in NZ

•headed for Indian (standard) which was actually very surprisingly good!

•they brought a huge bag full of English treats that we’ve missed, legends❤️

145
Queenstown

•set off at 10 for our loooong drive down to queenstown

•stopped at Lake Tekapo and lake Pukaki. I’ve never seen water so BLUE! The photos don’t do it justice as it was so windy and sunny

•supposed to stop at a pub which had a view of mount cook for lunch but some fucker has built an observatory in front of it! Stopped in a place called Twizel instead for lunch and ice cream

•lots of crazy mountain scenes and even saw some snow on the journey

•checked into air bnb. It’s almost clinically white and I’m pretty sure the owner is Monica Gellar. She even introduced herself as anal. Make yourselves at home! 😃👍🏼 it has the most insane view over the lake though

•walked into queenstown town. Very touristy but I like it! A good mix of ages and not just all backpackers (which I was expecting). Feels like we’re in some European alpine town - the temperature definitely feels like it too!!

•walked around forever before deciding on a pub for dinner. Green curry for mum and I whilst Ben and dad obviously had slabs of meat

146
Queenstown

•Shotover jet in the morning. Bloody hell!!!!! Literally the most fun 30 minutes of my entire life. It was the excitement of a roller coaster that just kept going

•loved the hand signals to warn us of a 360 spin. Mum’s response to one when we were quite close to rocks: “how?!?!!” hahha bless her

•it was too dangerous the day before so it was cancelled - lucky us

•had to wear some sexy waterproofs. Felt like Harry fucking Potter

•went on the Queenstown Hill hike. Should’ve guessed from the “hill” part that it’d be steep but this was something else. Felt like proper mountaineers scaling Everest or something

•ben and I were really struggling, let alone mum and dad. Honestly thought dad was going to pass away at one point (“or worse, be sick” as mum said)

•finally made it to the lookout spot (the 10 minute marker 30 mins before was clearly a lie!) and the views were so worth it

•this wasn’t even the full hike... but we’ll stop here and return to sea level thanks

•lost dad when he went for a nap as the bed was so soft he just sank 😂

147
Queenstown

•cable car (or gondola as they call it here. That’s more Venice but righto) up to the top of a mountain

•ben LOVED it 🤣

•explored up top and took in the views before the best bit: all you can eat buffet lunch. It’s a buffet!!

•sooo much food. Venison stew, bbq chicken, curries, puddings galore... I’ll come here everyday thanks

•lunch at 12 and swing at 2.30. Which dumbass decided to do that?

•actually shitting myself all day for this swing but knew ben would be more terrified so couldn’t show it. Literally shitting myself after all that food too

•ben was first up and he had his eyes closed the entire time 😂and let out a singular zombie noise when he released it and that was it until he was back on the ground haha

•I was up next and I was definitely a lot more vocal! Screaming, swearing and laughing. Because apparently I couldn’t decide whether I loved or hated it

•shaking so bad that I couldn’t actually hook myself up to be lifted back to the base. Almost got angry because at one point I thought I’d be spending the rest of my life dangling from this ledge

•even just standing on the base where they harness you up is scary enough! It shook in the wind and everything. Bugger working there no thank you

•had a “picky dinner” and dad decided to channel his psychotic inner 4 year old by having crisps, ham and chicken topped with white chocolate

148
Queenstown

•walked into town along the lake to rent bikes

•cycled back along the lake to the outskirts of town. Stopped at the boatshed cafe for coffee and cake

•dad has been dying to see a waterfall (not sure where this love has come from but ok) so we definitely provide our guests with what they want. A small trickle of water into the lake 😅

•all going really well, even had thoughts of getting a bike and doing more cycling, until we rode past our air bnb. “Oh look there’s our house!” Promptly followed by my bike dropping down the river bank and me flying face first into the gravel...

•busted, bleeding hands and felt very winded but I lived to tell the tale

•some random lady ran over to pick up my bike and check I was ok. I’m just glad there weren’t more people around!

•had to ride the scraped bike back to the rental place whilst dropping blood all over the handlebars. I’m definitely a good cyclist until I’m distracted...

•all shook up from my near death experience so napped and chilled for the afternoon 🙄

•mum sporting a new pharaoh look

149
Christchurch

•loooong drive back to Christchurch

•stopped at Lake Tekapo for lunch (still not the pub with a nice view but that view is now an observatory)

•checked into Christchurch apartment. It’s a lot warmer here, hooray!

•staying near Shirley mursh

•started to walk to Indian restaurant, started pissing it down, drove instead

•had a quite a sweet little waiter which started off as mum saying she wanted to take him home but soon changed to “omg will he ever stop talking?” If he wrote an autobiography, we’d still know more about him after that one meal than if we read that

150
Christchurch

•explored the city. Well, as much as we could. Never realized how small Christchurch is! I think eastleigh is bigger 😳

•I know they’ve had the earthquakes and then the shootings but I thought there would be a few more people here.. it’s a ghost town!

•went to Quake city which was really interesting but obviously sad. Crazy how many after-effects there are from an earthquake

•went to Wendy’s for lunch. Their chilli is actually so good

•for lack of anything better to do we walked to the Botanic gardens and had a look around there

•came across the memorials, flowers and letters for the victims of the mosque shootings a month ago❤️

•stumbled across some random free fair

•crusaders vs brumbies! Really really cool to see but fuck me was it cold. Also weird how quiet crowds are at rugby games, were definitely not at st Mary’s now!

151
Picton

•up early to drive to Picton

•absolutely shite weather. Sorry parents, this isn’t the sunny NZ we promised ☹️

•stopped in Kaikoura to see seals and whales but all we saw mist and rain. Good gf burger in a chippy made up for it though

•arrived in Picton and the weather is only slightly better!

•went for a walk with mum but the \240pathway was completely blocked by a flowing river and small waterfall. Guess we’ll go back home then

•out for dinner. Had fush

•typical bad mood lucy day. Went to bed

152
Wellington

•shite weather still. Fuck off rain

•walked around Picton in between showers, got pies from the bakery and otained a random cat

•caught the ferry to Wellington. Was all lovely and smooth until you get out of the sounds and out to sea. Quite bumpy (worse than the trip over here)

•sat outside in the strong, freezing wind to keep from feeling sick. Me and mum were only 2 of a handful of nutters braving the wind

•arrived in Wellington, checked into air bnb (it’s lush!) and walked to the street food market ben and I went to last time for dinner

•mexican (again) and gf churros (again again)

•got a McFlurry on way home because apparently we hadn’t been fat enough👍🏼

•wish we had more time in Wellington, it’s a really lovely little city

153
Rotorua

•up very early to drive to rotorua

•stopped in taupo for lunch. Amazing views and the sun has come out!!! Yay north island you warm beauty x

•ben and had a go at the hole in one. If you got it in you got $10k! The one time I thought Ben’s golf obsession would pay off...

•watched some skydivers and paragliders. Mum was “so up for it” but I didn’t see her running to pay for a go!! I smell lies

•arrived in rotorua and headed straight to velocity valley to do the Shweeb racers. Really good fun and bloody hell my legs ached afterwards but quickest $100 I’ve ever spent!

•couldn’t decide what to do for dinner so naturally we booked the skyline and buffet for dinner. Hoping it was as good as queenstown’s

•chilled at air bnb before heading to skyline to then be told that it’s not working and we’d have to get a minibus up. I’d rather have climbed it myself! Minibus driver did not care about sheer drops and blind corners, clearly!

•managed to get 1 go on the luge before it closed. It was so much fun!! I felt like a 4 year old boy. The ski lift back to the top was actually terrifying though

•ok this buffet won! The food variety was much bigger, practically everything was gluten free and there was a gelato bar with melted Nutella

•9 scoops of ice cream and practically an entire lamb for Ben... I’ve trained him well

•skyline was working by the time we came to leave. Got to come down looking out over the lights of the town 🥰

154
Rotorua

•went for a walk with mum in the morning. Found sheep

•Ben’s not a fan of the smell of rotorua. Pure sulphuric smells from the hot springs and geysers

•headed to the Polynesian spa where we had a private pool each overlooking the lake

•dipped in the other pools, all of which were different temperatures and some were definitely more tolerable than others 😂

•should definitely rename this place polyn-Asian spa. Everyone was Chinese!

•had juices/smoothies which Ben obviously LOVED. My little green vegan

•went back and chilled in the garden playing sevens waiting to be picked up for Tamaki Maori evening

•such a cool experience!! Got to see the haka, songs and dance, games, learn all about their history and journey and, most importantly, watch ben and dad do their own haka

•had a traditional hungi dinner which is meat and veg all cooked under ground. A very caveman roast dinner

155
Auckland

•last long drive back to Auckland! And last drive with parents ☹️

•shit weather again. Stop it NZ what are you doing?

•had to change our plans last minute to something a bit more indoors! Went to the aquarium which was really good. human conveyor belt through a huge tunnel through tanks!

•came out to lovely blue skies, had lunch and started to grey over again. Typical

•ran up mount Eden to get quick photos of the view before it started hammering down again

•dropped shit at Kate’s and stayed for a cuppa before heading to arataki and doing a small tiki tour of the area

•one minute we’re looking out at the lovely, clear Harbour and the next it’s pissing it down and you can barely see a meter in front!

•back to Kate’s for drinks, bolognese and last chills❤️

156
Auckland

•can’t believe my parents leave today! 😔 set an alarm to make the most of the last few hours together

•Simon put on a whole breakfast spread including freshly caught snapper, croissants, eggs, bacon... the lot

•went for a walk around scenic drive. It’s not raining.. thanks Auckland for being the city of every season in a day

•mum cried before she’d even left Kate’s.. this is not going to be an easy goodbye!

•drove them to the airport and yep, it was difficult. Tried to hold it together but just cried the entire way home. Hated that they were leaving but also that they were going home to everyone and everything I miss ☹️

•went to the gym to try and cheer up, food shopping and general back to normal stuff

•still sad. Miss them already. Spent the rest of the day obsessively tracking their flights

•entered a mild depression. Missing home so much after having a little taste of home life

•I think it’s because my parents left me, rather than the other round, and the fact they’re going home to my cats and sister and family. I know I’m in NZ and should be loving life, I just really miss home. I’ll snap out of it

•don’t have the energy or enthusiasm to do anything. Just been going to the gym (good to be back), sleeping and watching tv

•typical that the weather is beautiful blue skies since they left 🙄 this is the lovely NZ I wanted to show them!

•back to being the only person who cleans the kitchen...

•went to watch Ben’s first football game. They lost 6-1 but he made some really good saves! Bless him he looked so sweet

•the boy couldn’t even move when he got back. Such an old man

•on a bit of a health/veg kick after all the shit we’ve eaten the last couple of weeks. Been buying loads of veg but fuck me do our farts stink!

•ben bought a comb for his beard and hasn’t stopped combing it since. Now it’s all fluffy

•found gf hot cross buns. Not even a huge fan of hot cross buns but if I can join in with Easter traditions then I bloody well will

•found a walk around a lake in Onehunga. Was nice

•still aimlessly plodding around not knowing what to do. Kinda wanna go home but kinda wanna stick it out

•went on a coastal walk but apparently it’s a low tide coastal walk so we didn’t risk going out and getting stuck on the coast somewhere! Found a little walk through a park instead

•fat boy Charlie is the best thing about being here at the moment🖤

•got the ferry to Rangitoto, a volcano island in the harbour

•lovely day for it. Now a lover of boats after the few journeys we’ve had recently

•stomped 3/4 way up before having a little sugar low so stopped for lunch

•made it to the top (after a relatively steep last quarter) for lovely views of Auckland, the surrounding islands and the crater

•so glad we did the Queenstown Hill hike as nothing will ever come close in terms of steepness or difficulty! Any hike is a piece of piss now

•explored the lava caves which I was expecting to be standard cartoon caves, quite tall and roomy but no no. These were more lava rabbit holes. Had to proper crawl through some points

•it’s really cool that this whole island is covered in hardened lava

•witnessed birds fighting and made a seagul pal

•did a trial shift at a kiwi orchard

•carrying a bag on your front that fits 15kg of kiwis in and they’re all just above head height so your arms are up the entire time

•mindless work but man the bags hurt your traps! When we finished I genuinely couldn’t move my left arm

•kayaking tonight but I had to ring the company in advance to check they were double boats otherwise I’d have had no luck with only one working arm!

•ben easily pleased with a huge Simpson’s doughnut

•drove 2.5 hours down to Cambridge for our kayaking

•ben was so fucking cute filling in his form. “Activity: glow worms” 😭😭😭 adorable. Think “kayaking” would’ve sufficed bear (he added tour after I took the piss)

•the actual activity was so good! Kayaked down the river and through a gorge before stopping for wine (how kiwi), hot chocs and snacks, waiting for the sun to go down

•all lined up on the river in a raft formation and the guides paddled us back through the gorge (how they can navigate that in the dark is beyond me)

•such a clear night so got to sit back and stargaze and look at the glow worms. Such a cool experience! \240

•Easter! Trying to make it as similar to home as possible

•Rosie’s new chill spot is apparently the roof of the house

•Kate and co have all gone to waiheke so we have the house to ourself for the weekend

•popped Ben’s Easter egg hunt cherry. He is now hooked

•fat Charlie sabotaged a few times by finding the eggs and lying on them/batting them out of their spot. Also elegantly laid across the pizza oven like the babe he is

•cooked a huge roast, chilled, ate too much chocolate and watched films

•it’s TATTOO DAY! For Ben at least

•arrived at the studio ready for 8 hours of tattooing

•it’s called “The Cave Freehand Ink” - 1 because he loved Batman and 2 because he literally draws up everything by hand

•got straight into designing it directly on Ben’s leg. Obviously horizontal Ben just looked at it once and said “yeah sure go for it”

•never seen the man writhe around in so much pain before! I mean, I know he’s a drama king when it comes to pain, but this was definitely another level. At one point he even screamed “noooo!” 😂

•got bored, went to a shopping centre and it was probably the busiest place in NZ I’ve been to

•the pain paid off - it looks so good!!

•more kiwi picking. Hating life

•carrying round a 15kg+ bag full of kiwis on your stomach is not cool. Like being pregnant with a small hippo

•cute dogs are the only saving grace. The boy, Buster, comes up to me and just sits on my feet whilst I’m picking

•Ben’s taken to wearing a weightlifting belt to protect his back😂

•after 4 days of kiwi picking we’ve decided to quit. The meth cleaners have more work coming in and the pain isn’t worth it. Literally the most back breaking work I’ve ever done - felt like slave labour!

•first day being free from kiwi picking and we definitely made the right choice! Feel like a huge weight (literally) has been lifted

•drove out to Piha as Sam would bang on about it so much

•climbed Lion rock which is literally a huge rock on the beach. Pretty cool but wow it’s steep!

•the sand out here is all volcanic and black

•wanted to go to Kitekite falls but once again we were failed by google maps and couldn’t find it 👍🏼

•after 5 months of failing it, we finally did the arataki/exhibition drive walk, with CORRECT instructions this time and a map!

•meth guys only needed one of us today. Dropped ben at work in north shore for a day of work on his own!

•stopped to take photos of the pretty sunrise over the city skyline

•housewife for the day - cleaning, cooking and general “pottering” as a housewife would say. Also spent too much time cuddling our boy Charles

•meanwhile, Ben spent his day sanding paint off walls. Was actually jealous as I love sanding!

•today’s the day that Ben pops his horseriding cherry!

•went to Emma’s to ride Boggs and North

•definitely forgot how painful horseriding is! And Ben has just discovered this fact. Poor Amelia (Emma’s daughter who is 15) had Ben moaning about his sore nads

•did my first ever jump, if you can class it as that. More of stepping over a jump but I’ll take it #jockey

•Ben was so fucking funny to watch. His expression would not change whether he was walking, trotting or stopped. It was always deadpan, concentrating eyes and stiff body😂 just bobbing about on a horse and concentrating so hard to not fall off or pop a ball

•I wouldn’t say that Ben’s dying to get a horse of our own but he definitely didn’t hate it (as I thought he would)

•work for both of us today!

•had to meet Leon at the office at 6am to pick up the sanding gear and a vac

•stopped in McDonald’s as we were early

•came out of the toilet and couldn’t find ben anywhere. Sat and waited 15 mins for him, thinking he had gone to the toilet too, but no he was fucking hid behind a wall...

•weird cross eye man telling us how to do our job - “you need to sand this, clean this” - yeah ok mush

•couldn’t do the job properly as he didn’t want his floors wet... your fault if it doesn’t pass!

•found a grand behind the boiler. Laz wasn’t even going to clean that cupboard but ended up giving it a quick jet wash and out flies an envelope of cash!

•Ben has a chiropractor and acupuncture appointment which were the most hilarious things ever

•having a casual chat with the chiro and Ben’s in the background like “I’m windedddd” and we both ignore him 😂

•went into the acupuncture room to a man full on snoring zzzz

•went the little Chinese lady kept returning to check on and twist Ben’s needles, he would say things such as “no don’t you come anywhere near me” and “no no, no twisting them!” Such a sassy baby

•beautiful sunrise on way to methlab

•back working in Kumeu at the same address we were at in february, but cleaning the little unit next to the main house (why they didn’t just test it all at the same time we’ll never know)

•woman living in main house has literally 23 dogs. Madness!! She seems to spend all day shouting at them and running around the garden after them

•sanding in the sun = a whole lot of sweating in a hazmat suit!

•watched ben play football. Not an actual match, the team vs themselves

•Simon and Kate offered a pizza oven night “for us leaving” but their friends got invited.... obviously

•went to bed at 7.30 as we felt intrusive on their catch up! Cheers see ya. Good pizza tho

•got up early to drive down to tauranga at 5am

•new meth house is on an avocado orchard. So glad we’re here to clean meth and not pick fruit!!

•spent allllll day sanding the ceilings using scaffolding. 10.5 hours later all timber was finally stripped!

•house owner has the cutest dog ever who definitely copied my hair colour..

•airbnb little romantic cottage

•burger fuel for dinner - company paying!

•Laz bagsied the double bed the cunt so we got the double bed bunk bed

•matey who owns the place won’t stop coming to check up on us

•concerned about us water blasting inside the house. Ben chimes in with a “weve been doing this for 4 years we know how to clean meth mate”. True though, just leave us to it. Wouldn’t tell you how to grow avocados now would I

•finished the 3 meth cleans and back to air bnb by 4. Decided to drive back to auckland that night (mainly cos ben wasn’t happy with the WiFi speed or bed...)

•was going to climb mt maunganui but turned out to be a 45 min steep hike. Bugger that after all the sanding!

•burger fuel for second night in a row... definitely going to miss this!!

•felt like shit all day so had a nap

•went to get our tattoos touched up

•evidence that Ben is a pussy: Vete’s brother came into the shop and saw ben in so much pain and assumed he had been here all day. Nope, just 10 minutes! 😂

•both tattoos now looking absolutely perfect!

•nice to meet Vete and his wife Alyce. Would’ve been nice to chill with them if we were staying longer..

•finally made it to the Titirangi Indian. Pretty good with a nice Auckland view!

•had a surprise visitor from a far off spider with glowing eyes. You can leave please

•finally made it to Kitekite falls! Thanks google

•bit of a trek to get to it, having to climb over wet rocks and steep steps. Unsure how I didn’t stack it

•the actual falls is really quite pretty. It was worth the second drive out😂

•on way back you had to literally cross the river over slippery rocks. Ben had a good time watching me climb over on my hands and feet. If I stayed upright I would definitely have slipped and been washed away

•went to the hospital to visit Kris (guy we worked with at hoy) as he is in with appendicitis and a failed bowel. What was supposed to be food and drinks turned into sitting next to him in bed!

•kris decided he wanted to go to the shop so off we went with his morphine drip... thought we were going to the hospital shop but no no, we’re walking down the road through the center of Auckland

•definitely looked like some junkie doing a runner. We were mere associates to the crime

•raining all day so took our chance to sort all our shit out. Packed, cleaned and sorted out the car

•watched inbetweeners 2 movie

•pretty chilled day considering we’re leaving in 2 days lol

•going to miss my fat Charlie 🧡

•went horse riding in the forest with Emma and Shirley

•scariest feeling when your horse starts cantering uphill...

•Shirley’s dogs are mad! They run away and do their own thing but, once you shout for them, come running straight back

•little Eric is adorable. Tiniest dog ever but trotting along with the horses thinking he’s huge

•ordered hells pizza (last one) and watched the GOT finale

•it was shit but the pizza was goooood!

•up early to go fushing

•launched off Cornwallis beach with sexy attendant Ben dragging us into the water (whilst I sat glamorously on the boat) 😇

•went for a little zip around the manukau. It’s so beautiful and peaceful out there!

•sat for about 10 mins before my rod starts going mental. First catch, \240a huge trevally!!

•managed to catch another 3 fish (and a starfish, that definitely counts) - apparently I’m a fishing natural. Although I’m pretty sure I just sat and did nothing

•Ben’s not happy he only caught one but he clearly didn’t sit doing nothing as well as me

•headed back to (watch) gut the fish and prepare them for the smoker. Dinner’s gonna be good!

•wanted to climb Mt eden but Ben was tired so compromised on Mt Atkinson which is literally the equivalent of Everest to st Catherine’s hill but ok my boy x

•FUSH and CHUPS for our final dinner 😍

•lil bit emotional that it’s the last night of our travels but fuck I can’t WAIT to get home!!!!