It’s not dark in here

The sun is shining in

But here I am

Trapped,

Struggling with my sins

Why is it so dark in here?

And why can’t I breathe?

And why isn’t anyone here helping me?

Do they see my struggle?

The amount of tasks I’m trying to juggle?

My fake smiles

Work for miles

But my hustle is slowing,

Anxiety, Depression, PTSD keeps growing

This fear consumes me.

And makes me realize this isn’t who I should be.

Once so much potential,

Gone, replaced with existential...

Dread

And fear

The longing to grasp something near.

But when

I reach out and nothing is there

My mind is racing,

Scattered with thoughts

My chest is aching,

Tired with knots

This sickness puts me at a battle with everyone,

I have to stop when I know I’m having too much fun

They scream “we’re here for you!”

And then they run

Away from me

Like they’re too scared to be

Close to someone

So close to going crazy

Sometimes the light is there

I can feel it, but vanishes when I’m near

It’s not dark in here,

It’s not dark in here,

Is what I’ll tell myself.

It’s not dark in here,

It’s not dark in here,

As I become foreign to every sense of self

It’s not dark in here to you,

I’m glad you feel so free

But the sunlight so clear to you,

Is not so clear to me.

It’s dark in here, it’s dark in here.

Please just believe me.