Share It’s getting real
OR
Copy the link to @Kimmi Journo below
Today we see the travel agent, Uli, to put down money and start seriously planning the trip. So it’s beginning to feel real. Looking around me now I am overwhelmed by how much needs to be done before we can get on that plane on 2 May 2023.
Share It’s getting real
OR
Copy the link to @Kimmi Journo below
We have our travel insurance sorted and the paperwork for our Australian passport. The carefully researched carry on suitcases have arrived and then in the middle of my giddy happiness mum is admitted to hospital.
My mum lives her life for travel. On her fixed income she is always talking about the next trip and she sacrifices a lot to make it happen. She is 38 days from a cruise and talking about it takes her away from the fear of the now. \240God, please let them go. Don’t let this be it.
Listening to mum, I realized once again how much I cope with my present circumstances by visualizing some moment in the future that I am mapping out and planning. It’s not just that I have something I am looking forward to but it gives me a (false) sense of control.
I said to Keith a few days ago “this time next year we will be in Switzerland”. Yes, that is how carefully mapped out the trip is.
He replied “yes, and you will have your mind on something further on.”
So I shall hold my mum’s hand and really try to live in the now.
Share It’s getting real
OR
Copy the link to @Kimmi Journo below
“Daunted”
Yes you shall suffer for my art! \240I am learning a new art technique called Zen drawing. \240It began when a book almost fell off the shelf into my hands at a second hand book shop. I took it with me to my third chemotherapy round. For me, the most challenging aspect of chemo is the steroids. I’m a pretty excitable person without drugs.
On that first night instead of my usual pacing the floor muttering, I drew this in a frenzy using the Zen technique. (Okay a frenzied Zen doesn’t sound very Zen but a sterling effort for a tiny woman sweating out Dexamethasone, Emexolon and Cyclizine in great quantities!)
You don’t always know what you’re drawing with this technique until about halfway through when you give the cognitive brain permission to enter the room. \240One day I will treat you to some art where reason stays locked out. What a treat for the senses that’ll be, eh?
I’ve called it Daunted because this little pebble with all its intricate and unique beauty watches the certain tide and can do nothing about it. It worries about survival of even just the survival of its unique self. “Will the me that I know survive this?” \240Cancer feels like that.
Now with mum in hospital and a whole lot of other challenges I didn’t have a week ago those waves seem even closer.
Share It’s getting real
OR
Copy the link to @Kimmi Journo below
Share It’s getting real
OR
Copy the link to @Kimmi Journo below
