Hi there, thought I’d try this again, seems people enjoyed the last one, it made it easier for me to remember shit, and saved me having to repeat myself over and over, so here goes journo #2 USA!!

Well holy moly, we’re in Brooklyn!! Feels weird, prob because I still feel like I’m tripping balls after those loooong haul flights, I tell you this, nothing prepares you for the 20 hours of torture that is flying that far, except for maybe Valium and whiskey and wine and sleep ... actually scrap the others, sleep is the one, Mandy and I tried to exhaust ourselves by not sleeping the night before we flew, that way we’d sleep all the way there right?? we Genius!! \240Wroooong!! We just ended up being awake for 2 days straight.. haha, made for some interesting conversation.. 14ish hours to LA, 2 hour stopover turns to 4 hours, 5 hours to New York turns to 7 hours.. 45min cab ride, 3 breakfasts, 3 lunches, 2 wines, 3 coffees, 1 Bloody Mary later \240(i swear we are constantly eating) and boom!! We are at the door of our air bnb in Brooklyn New York .

The lovely group of young lads crowded around our apartmen block entry who are listening to loud hip hop and kinda having a bit of a party on the street help us and a young woman looking for her keys open the door \240and we’re all in yaaaay! (Did I just let a gang into our apartment block) I immediately am overcome by predjudice set by years of tv and media forming ideas and fears, which quickly subside as the guys allow the door to lock behind us and they continue laughing and singing and taking the piss out of each other outside, the smell of weed flows through the building, mixed with the humidity of the day.. \240wow what an introduction!!!

We quickly take stock of our compact apartment, shower! Goddamn shower is the best and we’re off to quickly grab a bite to eat and some drugs!! Yes we need drugs!! Haha not that kind you heathens, mandy seems to be allergic to planes I think we counted 79 sneezes in 2 days!! We walk back through the growing block party and up the street, it’s slightly raining, it’s warm about 21 degrees at 840 pm and it feels great.. we get buzzed into the drug store grab some Zyrtec and shuffle into the the taco bar 2 minutes from our place..how good is this joint, super size burrito 1 beer and a margarita later and we’re done.. I need sleep. We wander back through the cliche’s of people playing games with dice and gatherings of people in doorways and loudhip hop on the street and holy shit man terrified and excited and amused all in one and I love it..

Sleeeeeeeeeeeeeep

it’s now 9am and we’re off to check out the subway and the city.,but first a bagel and a muthfuckin cawfee!! NYC here we go!!

Morning!! Ok I know this feeling, dry mouth, slight headache, kinda sore, empty wallet, hazy memory, yep you know it! We found bars, in nyc ... what a surprise ?

Ok let’s see if I can piece it together, started out pretty well bagels at a joint literally 2 mins from our flat.. yum .. quick stroll down the street and we dive straight into the subway.i get flashbacks from the movie warriors and am suspicious of anyone in baseball garb on roller skates.. \240Times Squarehere we come,, it’s everything you’ve seen on the tv bright lights, busy as hell, we grab a coffee and people watch .. people are weird

We get roped into bus tour which turns out was a rad idea as we now have transport round the city with commentary that we can hop on and off of.. which turns us into super tourists, we hit the Empire State building first, blows my mind that they built this in 1 year, from start to finish.. 1 year with ropes and big spanners and shit.. crazy., next we wander the streets a bit to get a photo of the charging bull but it’s so busy we can it and move on .. \240 9/11 memorial is next .. eerie 2 big holes in the ground with water features and the names of all that lost their lives, the new building they’ve replaced the towers with is an impressive piece of kit too.. makes me wonder who got paid for that? Quick hot dog from a street vendor on broadway (it’s hard not to sing that), squeezey cheese yum, then we hop on the ferry for a cruise on the Hudson and round the Statue of Liberty ..this is the river that sully landed a plane in.. can’t imagine watching that also can’t imagine watching planes hit those towers from the surrounding offices, unbelievable to say the least!

pretty rad day, lots to see, the bus takes us through little Italy and TriBeCa, which we head back for dinner, a full strip of Italian restaurants and bars, streets lined with gelato vendors, reminds me of lygon street but older and busier, we choose “Capri “ meatballs please, gnocci, wine, beer, \240caprese and an aggressive head waiter who’s been taking tips off old mate Ramsay.. we appreciate the chairs and I can’t stop watching one of the young waiters who appears to pirouette every time he changes direction.. full tray of drinks, around 1 table, spin! Around the next spin! Past a customer spin! Hilariously graceful! \240ok that’s enough sight seeing, drinks!!!

We stumble out of little Italy with not so little bellies and head to 2 bars in Brooklyn rocka rolla, and duffs both great vibes, both remind me of Melb. dive bars with good tunes and good people we have a few too many, and head home for another deep sleep.. currently back on the subway to attack another full day of whatever we can get into!! Too much time not enough $1 bills.. actually that’s a lie, all I have is $1 bills guess it beats carrying shrapnel!!

Ps the neon lights are definitely bright on Broadway

Dear Diarizza (thanks Hanna forgot this)

So my legs are pissweak, goddamn feels like I’ve run a marathon already! Haha, can’t wait to get back to work so I can relax!! NOT!!

Another pretty full day, spent a good portion on the bus cruisin the streets, had another bagel for breakfast, this time I had bacon and egg, which was a mistake, it didn’t come with shmear and shmear is what it’s all about..shmear is cream cheese and there’s all different flavours, from bacon cheddar to strawberry to lox (salmon ) to scallions, to the lot.. today I reckon I’ll choose the lot.. I need all the cream cheese, and I’ve stuffed up my first 2, mandy on the other hand accidentally nailed it from the get go with bacon cheddar.. not today baby, today I get the lot!!

The subway is a bloody good thing, easy to learn, could do with some air through the joint but the trains are well air conditioned, we head straight back to Times Square and head uptown on our bus tour, we jump out at strawberry fields and check out the Lennon memorial, it’s busy as, everyone stands around the circular \240imagine mosaic quickly jumping in after each other to snap a photo from within the centre, I take a quick photo of somebody else’s photo and listen to the busker busting out Lennon tunes on an old beat up Yamaha acoustic, he’s not bad, can’t get the high notes though “yoo hoo ooh ooh oooh, you may say I’m a dreamer” \240you know the one!! 😉 he then starts banging out lazing on a sunny afternoon??? I hope he knows this is the kinks?? Uh oh !! No tips for you!!

We head over and check out the spot where he was shot outside his apartment at the Dakota building, which yoko still lives in to this day, \240I hang around to hopefully see yoko so I can yell something at her about breaking up the band but my resentment subsides and we move on.. pretty fancy building apparently not easy to get a tenancy there, there’s some full on application process which costs a grand just to apply for and then they decide whether your worthy!! Apparently Madonna was not!!

Next stop “Harlem” man what a cool town so many characters ., we stroll past the various street vendors offloading cheap rolexes and different scents and essential oils and ceiling fans, and baseball caps and .. hang on ceiling fans?? This guy has found a niche and he’s runnin with it.. we grab some soul food at “Harlem Shake” I got the fried chicken sandwich with slaw and an ice tea mixed with lemonade (I’m bringin that shit home with me) delicious and refreshing mmm mmmm!! (Say that like Samuel L ) mandy got the snoop dog and watermelon!! Word!

Back in town Mandy runs into the naked cowboy who tells us to watch out for the crazy’s!! Yeah right! The dude is worth 4 million, in tips? WTF?? \240something is happening, there’s people everywhere I mean there always is but it’s different oh shit the MTV awards are on, radio city is buzzing we check it out for a bit and then move on, we skip through the rockerfeller centre and head back to Brooklyn, uptown from where we are staying is much cooler, cafes and bars and yeah I like Brooklyn we find a great rooftop bar called the Whythe (thanks Leon) and settle in, drinks, then pizza, more 🍷 home and we’re done!

NYC you were as good as they said you were! Not enough time here but weirdly also too much! Is that The same with every city? I’ll be back to New York to destroy some other time!

Peace

Dear Disaster

Well today I sit on a plane to Chicago instead of a bar in Nashville, turns out our flight to Nashville was cancelled due to inclement weather (Is it only weather that becomes inclement?? Can one have an inclement attitude?) \240and no flights out til the next night? we manage to score an early flight to Chicago and a connecting flight to Nashville from Newark instead (which is a different airport closer to New Jersey) early morning at 5am so it’s off to Newark! Uber ride back through Brooklyn whilst booking a hotel for the night, not the best situation but hey, deal with what your given!

I think I manage to see the docks that Johnny used to work on and I wonder if the union has sorted itself out yet! We get dropped outside the car park to our hotel and soon figure out that we can’t get through the barbwire fence, so we walk around the long way, which sees the 2 of us dragging our luggage down international way (freeway) which I’m quite happy with I mean you gotta experience everything right? Mandy maybe not so, it’s pretty bloody hot and the hotel air con is a bit of a treat when we finally make it!

We check out some New Jersey bbq which is pretty bloody tasty and talk about hitting the bar later, a decent thunder storm rolls through and we’re done.. movie time.. king size bed looks inviting!!

I always thought Newark was just people saying newyork badly, I also thought that people would be able to understand us aussies, apparently not.. Maybe ill try to slow down a bit, I’m just so excited, and the cocaine is so cheap!!! Hahaha

I didn’t take any photos today I had \240inclement photo skills! But here’s a video of an Indian dancing!

Dear ding dang darlin

Well hog tie me Nashville knows how to party, and I’m not talkin bout your inner city, craft beer, vegan cafe, pill poppin house party this place goes full brisket, Mac n cheese,beer swillin, guitar driven, triple level, \240hootenanny hoe down! I mean from the moment we step off the plane.. there’s a band playin in the airport for Christ’s sake, guitars in display cabinets tellin ya to go buy one and get in a band & be a real human.. every corner downtown has a triple level super bar with a band on every level and every band ain’t your hope for the best, I just landed this gig, let’s see what happens weekend legends, these are live for the music career musos, absolute pros in every bar in the middle of the day on a Wednesday.. I hope your picking up what I’m puttin down, this is music city and it lives up to its name!

I’m not gonna list everything we’ve done here for the last few days, well not in detail, I’d run out of ink.. but I’ll try give ya a bit of a feel for the place, the southern hospitality is in full effect and its certainly got a way to make ya feel at home.

We got a pretty bloody good Airbnb just out of town, air conditioned ,good bed, great shower, coffee machine, \240quiet street, smoker in the backyard, about an $8-25 uber into the city( the place gets busy) apparently it was nothin like this until uber moved in, now it’s the bachelorette capital of the world, girls gone wild lookin for a cowboy to make their last night of freedom a night they’ll never remember, we stand in the middle of honky tonk central as the pedal tavern rolls by (this is a 12 seater tourist tour bike that punters pedal power around the streets whilst swilling beer and taking in the sights) and I can only think that this is just like Times Square but the people are nicer!

We bar hop for what seems like days, we eat some of the best brisket I’ve ever had, we try on cowboy hats, and boots and I find out that I’ve got a nose for quality leather! There’s some boot shops that are a bit cheaper than others, buy 1, get 2 free kinda action, but I can smell the synthetics,a sickly sweet kind of dank, the same smell as artificial sweetener, but the real deal \240is unmistakable and I can’t imagine how these people that work in these shops do it, day after day with that smell permeating throughout their existence..sooo good!! I’d take a pay cut!!

We tourist as hard as we can, taking in the grand ole opry, johnny Cash museum, the Parthenon, dukes of hazard museum, willie Nelson’s shop, carters vintage guitars,(crikey) the best toilet in the world, oh that reminds me, in a bar downtown I went to the dunny and after I finish a shiny dark fella squirts some soap in my hand, turns on the tap and encourages me to lather whilst cleaning my shoulders and spraying some scent around the air, he then gives the urinal a quick disinfectant and returns to dry my hands ... now I know there’s racist undertones here, and I don’t agree but I can’t lie, this was lovely! I dig deep for this tip and tell my new friend that he’s my first, he looks me in the eyes and tells me he could tell and that hopefully He’ll see me again??! Weird?? Maybe?! I’m not sure, but my hands smell amazing!

Oh we got a car, and I’m driving on the wrong side of the car on the wrong side of the road, fun!..

I can’t write much more, my brain hurts, last night there was a free gig in the park we ate fried chicken it was hot, like fucking hot, parquet courts played amongst others, a mini festival but huge and free ..we met up with our friend Sally from Melbourne, she’s a legend, I hope she’s ok, I don’t remember leaving her.. that always worries me, we went to coyote ugly, it was shit, but kinda funny!!

On a Thursday

Nashville!

Dear Don’t be cruel!

Well here I was thinkin we were gonna get a rest in Memphis!! Wroooong!! Haha! It continues! After bravin the interstate in our way undersized car, the lady at the rentals warned me, “are you sure you don’t want sometin bigger darlin”?? “Nah we’ll be right thanks” . “ Well ok then hunny, don’t say I didn’t tell you so” !! Christ it’s like I’m drivin a bloody toy compared to the full size tonka trucks everyone else seems to drive, anyway we hit the road and it’s all good.. a few hesitations here and there, but soon the old brain starts to remember the whole keep right thing and after 4 or so hours and a few tactical pit stops (Friday in Nashville with Sally got a \240little out of hand) we arrive! Memphis baby!! Yeah!! Home of the king! \240Home of the blues!! Our hotel is a cracker and I think it takes us all of 5 mins to change our plans and we book an extra night! The weather is sensational and so is the pool.. totally needed that!!

We decide to grab a couple of beers from the servo 2 doors up, and nurse our hangovers poolside.. a couple of leather skinned old biddies are next to us suckin down bud lights in the 40 degree sun and charging ciggies like they stole em, pretty impressive actually! (Turns out they did that all night and when we woke the next day, guess what they were doin?!!) we get a bit of a second wind and our friends from melbs who are doin a similar trip as us but the opposite way get in touch, so we decide to get dressed, grab a feed and get out there.. until we eat the food that is.. food coma? Yep! Lucky for us there was an Elvis show in the place we decided to eat.. hilarious, the guy seems to have worked mainly on his pelvis moves, and his eyebrows.. he really shoulda worked a little more on the sound quality but whatever, it was fun to watch grown women squealing in delight as plastic Elvis gyrated his way round the restaurant...

Day 2 started with waffles and coffee followed by Graceland which is unbelievable, like the merch, the fanatic craziness that this guy creates.. its impressive to say the least! The place is amazing, I’d definitely live there.. we check out the entire joint and his planes, how the hell they got the plane here is beyond me?? I mean it’s a full size jet.. (I find out later they chopped the wings off and pushed it in, down the streets from the airport, which is miles away, they made a parade of it... see!! Fanatics) \240and the cars, bikes, pool, squash court, the guy did it right, and he did it with style, a bar and music room off the squash court? Yes please!!

Next is sun studios which is my favourite so far! We stood in the room where so much magic happened, you name it they’ve been there, and played! The birthplace of rock n roll, the first documented place that used distortion on a guitar, (by accident- sam tried to fix a broken speaker cab, they just went with it and voila!! Distortion) we hear the stories of how Elvis just made it, and how Sam (sun studios original owner) sold elvis’ 3 year contract early for $35000 after which Elvis went on to sell millions, over 400 million as of 1997.. which blows my mind! (Sam went on to sign Johnny cash and Jerry Lee Lewis amongst others, so don’t fret he ended up ok)

We leave sun Studios and walk up Beale street have a few beers and melt in the Memphis sun, catch a rad blues band and take in the vibe, this place is running on vibe man, and I like it!!

Great day, back by the pool about to retreat to the air con and get some rest, big drive tomorrow... NOLA?! Oh lord help my liver!!

All in All I’m in awe of the kings pulling power, still to this day people flock in the thousands just to be in his presence, even though he ain’t been home for years!? \240I catch Mandy touching everything in his house to get some “Elvis dust”, \240there are souvenir shops everywhere, buses of people moving all about town, People bust into song at the drop of a hat, the music is everywhere, and that’s where the magic is, right there in amongst the notes, past the mugs and the shirts and the pyjamas and bedazzled hats is a passion that started it all, a raw talent that inspired generations to pick up their guitars and gave birth to what we all call our favourites, music that helped shape our decisions and put a soundtrack to our lives, and if that means that a bunch of street vendors, music stores, bars, tour guides etc . get to make a living off of him!

Well that’s alright mama!!

Dear Dauphine

Currently laying in bed contemplating the 6-8 hour drive to Austin Texas, the trip from Nashville was only 5 which we pushed out a little further for a detour into clarkesdale, birthplace of legends like John lee hooker and Sam Cooke, and Home of the delta blues museum (which was closed wahhhhh) actually it seemed like the whole town was closed, not a soul in sight (pun intended as clarkesdale is also the place where robert Johnson sold his soul to the devil... unless you are in Rosedale that is!!) that’s right it’s Sunday, as we drive out of town we notice where everyone is, \240as cars fill the church car parks, we toy with the idea of \240popping in but give it a miss as we don’t have our Sunday best on..

we push on through the vast country snaking alongside the Mississippi River, massive cornfields and long stretches of road, and then in a flash the air gets heavier and the landscape changes to swamp! Yewwww!!! New Orleans!! Our air bnb is rad and we meet the guy that owns it, who apparently is an artist who used to be a screen printer and has worked with Elvis and many famous actors and authors..

Now I’m running out of time here as we have to get moving so New Orleans goes like this we head straight out for dinner, (rockerfella oysters!! Wow!! With a sauce so rich it rivals rockerfella) mandy ate alligator ..I got shrimp and grits, \240bars, jazz, blues sleep, wake, coffee diner breakfast (stuffed hash browns) swamp tour = awesome.. alligators everywhere and these weird alligator fish, raccoons, turtles, damn hot, pissing rain, blistering sun, coffee and beignets (yuuummm) cemetery tour (Marie Laveau) and the famous easy rider set where they dropped acid for real, shops, bars, voodoo, blues, jazz, burgers, (forgot to get a P.O. boy) bars, blues repeat..

so much fun to be had in New Orleans I might add more to this later as mandy is staring at me and we do have a long drive

Til then

Who dat

Ok so where was I?? Oh yeah Nola, did I finish?? Kinda, a few things I wanted to say, bourbon street is a stinky hole that I’d rather not go back to, we spent most of our time on Frenchmen street, lucky for us bourbon street is under construction, it was a sign!! We looked at it, sniffed it and left it to its own!! Saw some great jazz and blues throughout the french quarter, and we just scratched the surface..

the cemetery tour was pretty cool, the misfits actually tried to exhume the body of marie levaeu back in the day, bein All punk rock and that, people believe that if mark her grave with xxx you get wishes and stuff but you gotta come back and make offerings, and apparently if you remove some of the tombs you get cursed!! kinda cool but I smell the All Too familiar scent of a scam .. the ghost tour is a quite popular tour I hear? 😉 haha on a serious note though they have had to lock the cemetery at night to keep all the freaks out and Marie levaeus pull is so strong people started rumours as to which tomb was actually hers, so now there’s all these other tombs getting marked which they now call “faux laveau’s” .. after a while the local catholic society says”that’s it, only guided tours are allowed in ”..( yeah I said catholic, Marie Laveau voodoo queen is buried above ground in a catholic cemetary, turns out 1 religion is very similar to the next) . too much shenanigans.. so now people make coin off it!! Genius!! \240I think I counted six tours when we were in.. our guide knew his shit though, I’m always impressed when people rattle off dates and exact history quotes etc.. I shoulda paid attention in school..

Other fun fact Ole Voodoo Queeny was a hairdresser, and people wonder how she knew so much about everyone, you ever heard women talk at the salon?? And she was also a nurse, makes good for the magic healing too right?? \240But hey I like a good bit o bloody voodoo so laveau your heart out!!! (Not your actual heart though)

the other legend of the day was captain Tom of the swamp, this guy talked swamp for 2 hours and I coulda spent another week fishing with him! we cruise around the bayous tempting alligators with of all things bloody marshmallows, they love the stuff! And he knows most of em by name, he shows us how to catch fish when there’s alligators tryin to steal your bait!

Toms tip: if ya find yer self in the drink wit a family of gaters snappin about yer, sink to the bottom and pray yer don’t run outta breath!! Heheheeeee

Ok that’s enough, I gotta have a beer!!

See yas in Texas!

Yeebloodyhar!!

Dear dusty hole, damn it’s hot!

And it’s only gonna get hotter!

Ok so I went off the radar a bit there, Austin will do that to ya, I swear my diet now consists of salt and sugar and I’m hydrating with Mexican beer, and we wonder why the yanks are such a big bunch, crikey!! We arrived at the casita 3 days ago after an 8 hour drive from Nola, the driving is well and truly sorted now and our little rocket loves the highways! The landscape changes from swamps to farms back to swamps again, we keep hitting these belts of intense rain that reduces visibility to near zero as the spray off the road from the passing trucks coupled with the absolute downpour join forces to completely obscure us and anything else around us... and then it’s gone.. and it’s sunny again?? It’s totally weird!! The traffic thins out and I begin chasing mirages as the belting sun makes little rivers on the road ahead, I can’t catch em, my mind wanders and I daydream of hunter s Thompson and the road and the suitcase and those damn bats!! \240Concentrate Ryan!!! Haha

We stop roadside for a quick bite to eat, ham And salad Sangas, quick stretch and motor on, shoot through La Grange “photo opportunity” and wonder why there aren’t nice girls everywhere!

Fun fact ZZ tops“ la grange” was written about a brothel, the same brothel that “the best little whorehouse in Texas”was written about! \240Sadly though it’s all gone, dismantled and destroyed apparently the town didn’t want to be known as a whorehouse.. I think that’s a bit of a waste, they shoulda saved it and made it a ZZ Top blues bar/museum!

We fire up the rocket and churn through the last hour, pretty easy drive really apart from the 2 min downpours until we arrive at the casita Santa Rosa! Our home for the next 5 days and it’s a bloody beauty! Single bedroom, full kitchen, separate bathroom, fully air conditioned with patio!! Rad! Quick shower turns into a long shower.. how good is a good shower?! And it’s time for a little explore, we pop into a pub a stones throw from us, eat some tacos have a coupla lagers and wander off again..Austin feels much safer than anywhere else we’ve been and we aren’t worried about walking the streets late at night, so we do.. we walk to another bar that has the mist thing happening in the beer garden and it’s the best, we meet a few people and their dogs, chat with a real life cowboy, and move on to the next joint! Ends up a bit messy, I try to plank on a hedge, which is deceptively unsupportive, belt out a tune through an oversized witches hat, contemplate pizza and then forget, then home..pretty standard really, time for bed

Morning! I’m hungry! Let’s get texmex! Sold!!

We found a little Mexican restaurant that does breakfast and it’s soooo goood!! Huevos Rancheros, migas rancheros, all the rancheros, muncha moncheros?? But seriously we’re the only gringos in there, the Spanish is flyin everywhere, Mexican pop rock on the tv, (so funny pretty much well dressed good lookin Mexican guy sings to scantily clad mamasita who plays hard to get but eventually succumbs to his advances... in every clip!) best breakfast I’ve had in ages though!

Then it’s back to “how do we fill our days without just going to bars” haha! We go and check out Allen’s boots, a cowboy boot store that has over 5000 pairs, pretty rad, turns out every pair I like starts around the $2000 mark.. that’s US too, reckon I’ll give that a miss! Mandy scores a sweet cowboy hat for a good price and we’re out!! Good day, checked out the street art around the place, just basically cruised! Ended up at Rainey street, amazing little street that has converted a bunch of houses into bars, and then filled the blocks in between with food trucks, head to Stubbs for dinner (decent bbq) and then back home to rest!! Honestly if I lived here it’d be trouble, Austin is reminding me of a larger Melbourne with more bars! So yeah.. trouble!!

Today we had breakfast at home packed a bag and went in search of water, our intensive online research (15secs) found us a place called Campbell’s hole which is a river that feeds into a waterhole area that has a jumping rock and everything, you have to trek there so in this heat it’s not too popular, so off we go, “it’s good to be in nature! ” “can you hear the water??” I can’t wait to dive in, it’s pushing 37 and this trek is going a little longer than I’d hoped! We can hear the waterfall now, or is that the trees, and cicadas? Actually I’m not sure, I hear a dog bark, yes! It’s gotta be, we push through as the brush opens up and there it is, a completely dry river bed, complete with a completely dry waterhole, and a nice sandy jumping rock... NOOOOOOOO!! So it’s back on the old googles and we manage to find another little waterhole along with everyone else in Austin, but it’s wet, \240so refreshment..

Home via target, Walmart, (had to see) they both sell everything! I check out some music shops, totally getting the itch big time, think I’m gonna buy a cheap guitar just to play something.. stop at the Stevie Ray Vaughan statue to pay respect, home quick rest and then back to the pub, (you getting the picture) this time antones club is the destination and it’s a blues sensation.. housed everyone from muddy waters, Stevie Ray and Billie Gibbons, the first band on is Jabo and man this dude is the best 60 ish blues organ singer is a classic, flirting with mandy as I go to the dunny, flirting with every girl in the place!! I grab the tip jar and wander the crowd encouraging people to cough up, which they do.. I give ole Jabo a wink he flashes a smile and we head off to grab some food!!

Austin really is a great city, could easily stay here, except for the ocean thing! We’re lucky in oz, totally take it for granted, when you see the lengths people go to to find a nice cool pond, and we’re usually not far from a massive clean ocean!! Makes you think!

Today we’re gonna sneak into a rooftop pool after a tip from our Uber!

Enjoy it out there you legends!!

Peace

Did this one just to get a blip in the map!!

This is where buddy holly comes from

Gotta keep drivin

Ok that’s enough bloody driving for 1 day!

I need a steak

Took off from Austin about 11 hours ago!

spent the last day in Austin in San Antonio, checked out the Alamo where 130 Texans held off thousands of angry Mexicans for 13 days! The battle of the Alamo, apparently the sneaky bloody Mexicans took the 12th day off to have a rest and then the Texans fell asleep and the next day the bloody Mexicans attached the Alamo from all angles and took control of the Alamo ending in a last stand battle in the long barracks and to really drive the nail in bloody Davy Crockett king of the wild frontier happened to be inside Too, fighting his bloody guts out, and then he died!! So yeah the Alamo!! Pow pow!! Pretty cool building, actually this whole town looks more Spanish, nice little river running through it with markets and restaurants and gondolas and shit!! I’m not feeling particularly touristy today, I want a swim that doesn’t cost me money, seems every pond/river or stream from New Orleans to Texas is either full of gators or someone’s fenced it off and sellin tickets!! Yesterday we failed at breaking into the rooftop pool (they had a bloody function on) so today I hit a map, found the largest body of water I could find, and went for it!! An hour later we’re sittin in the refreshing waters of canyon lake!! Success!! Went home and had a few beers on the porch at the casita and prepared for the drive today !!

Oh \240Yeah I ate my first in n out burger!! Not \240bad, turns out they call it in & out burger because there’s not much to choose from so it’s quick, like ya order 1,2,or 3 pay your dosh and you’re on your way, which is a great idea except there’s 17 cars in the bloody drive thru!! \240At least it’s better than what I thought in & out burger meant, ya know like.. maybe I won’t go into detail!?

Today was pretty much drivin, the countryside is slowly changing, long open fields, and the dirt is getting red, the Eagles hover overhead searching for food, pretty awesome countryside, little towns pop up and they’re full of ”antiques” stores... (horders/rubbish) although I know a few people who would love these places!!

We popped into Lubbock where buddy holly was born, another statue photo opportunity, bloody quiet on sundays, can really feel the Jesus vibe!

Gonna get a cheap motel in Amarillo and push on first light!

We got a date with some Indians!!

Keep on chooglin

River walk

Dear Darkness

Well didnt think I’d be sittin in my tipi in the middle of monument valley in the Navajo nation updatin me dear diary via WiFi did I?? Nope I did not!! Well I am!! Just hit the bed and am listening to the silence as night completely envelopes the valley into complete darkness, the sky is alive with stars, I’m on ufo watch for sure!!

Last night was funny, we pulled into a motel at random and tried our luck (with just a little research on the old webs) and we didn’t do too bad, just needed a place to crash to break up the 20 odd hour drive, just so happens it’s a stones throw from “the big texan steak house “ made famous on man vs food, this place serves 500,000 people a year, it’s huge, theres‘s taxidermy on every wall, it’s huge, balcony levels, I reckon there’s at least 200 tables, all with full view of the grill, steaks gettin thrown about, every cut imaginable, apparently they go through 24 cattle... a day!! \240it’s a bloody vegans nightmare! That said, they do a damn good steak! They also have a food challenge., of course!! It’s a. 72oz steak (2.2 kgs) 3 crumbed prawns, baked potatoe, salad and bread roll under an hour, finish it it’s free, don’t it’s $75!!! Now I like my steak but that is crazy talk, and no sooner have I stopped shakin my head at the thought, we have a contender! This guy sides up to the stage full bib braces overalls , big as a house, bit of a lazy eye, rather \240pronounced underbite.. you catch what I’m sayin yeah? If his name was bubba I wouldn’t flinch, anyway he gets started and I think this boy is gonna smash it, he attack’s with vigour ditching the cutlery and diving in with hands, tearing meat off and stuffing salad, it’s.. well it’s bloody terrifying.. I turn to my meal and slice a portion of beef with a gentle swoosh of mash and gravy and gracefully place it into my mouth, quietly chewing with my lips sealed, i then sip from my beverage and place it back down upon the table, and lightly dab the corners of my mouth with a serviette, as I am a gentleman!! seriously this guy is an animal, after what seemed like a long time I look up to see the sheer pain on his face, he’s hit the wall and it’s true he’s wiping sweat off his head, grunting for more iced tea, he’s done.. he missed by I reckon 2 mouthfuls.. funny thing is, he took that home in a doggie bag?? Wtf??

Oh we got a ride to the restaurant in a limo that was pretty sweet, met an old Texan chap named jim, he asked about Australia and I asked about America and which way he reckoned I should drive to which he replied “I ain’t never bin outta Texas”. Something I coulda said about the central coast not too long ago!

Today was all driving, we saw old mates house from breaking bad Jessie pinkman! ! I lived my bugs bunny dream in Albuquerque (which I did take a left turn at) we checked out the cadillac ranch in Amarillo which is 10 caddy’s stuck nose first in the dirt in the middle of nowhere, I reckon whoever did it owns a paint shop cos everyone graffitis it and there’s bloody paint tins everywhere, and all I can say is monument valley is amazing, every corner another stunning view, \240everyone becomes a professional photographer, gonna get out amongst it tomorrow..

but for now

I got aliens to find

Dear dune buggy

I wish I had one

Not just for here but for everywhere

Finally arrived in Palm Springs after a 9 hour drive from the epicness that is monument valley. I have mixed feelings about the place and im sure the people that live there do too, all across America I’ve been a bit shocked at the homeless situation, New Orleans in particular and for obvious reasons but in the Navajo nation I felt a real sense of intrusion. The Navajo people are some of the most gentle respectful people I’ve met, and I can’t say that enough. But we aren’t and we’re in their house and it’s not bloody good enough, from the roadside jewelry stores to the high end restaurants the tourists ignorantly place their orders without a please or thankyou to be heard, a disconnected acknowledgement and a wave of the hand, the Navajo take the money and take it in their stride but I can’t stand it.. actually I’ve experienced this all over the states and I hate it, it’s like that because I’m gonna tip you I don’t have to be nice to you, and fuck that, we wonder why people are killing each other, we wonder why there’s such a divide amongst us, I believe it starts right here, at least.. but in this beautiful place I really don’t understand it, I reject the offer to go on a tour through more sacred places in the valley for that reason, they’re sacred!! \240I respect my neighbors wishes to not look in the direction or their hut, (She was out the front of her hut trying to get her dog to stop barking by gathering the spirit of the valley with wide swooping motions and then throwing them at the dog as if shaking water off her hands and then banging her hand on the large drum next to her and repeat, she spotted me watching and did the same to me and motioned to me to look away at the mountain not her...I did! She was about 100 years old and I don’t need any extra curses thanks) \240and I treat everyone with a smile and as much Aussie spirit as I can muster! One particular guy was amused with my description of the place as bloody lovely, those words don’t go together apparently!! Haha

I didn’t take too many photos in the valley as I was too busy taking it in, I think it’s a place to be remembered it’s also a good place to dry out as alcohol is a no no.. so we did that, we ate some good food too, ps Navajo fry bread is awesome!

We left just after sunrise and stopped in at maccas on the way out of town, maccas is everywhere, it’s so weird but it’s easy and quick and cheap, a little Navajo girl politely excuses herself to us as we’re about to leave and we kinda ignore as we know she’s begging and you know what it’s like, it becomes your default action, \240actually Mandy didn’t hear her she was so quiet and shy but I did, and as I put my rubbish in the bin I turn back and hand her $3, she nearly cries and walks straight to the counter to order food, she must be all of 13 and I battle with the thought of big corporation and Navajo country, and money and poverty and culture and I jump in my rented car and put on my $200 sunglasses sip on my french vanilla latte and drive into the sunrise with Palm Springs and cocktails on my mind!! What a douche!

Monument Valley is a magical place and I’m glad that without having to tell me the kind natured people of the land reminded me what is important in life as I consume my way across their country!

Peace ✌️

Dear desert

What a great few days in Palm Springs, this place is odd, we drove from the red rock of monument valley through the vast coal fields, through the Arizona state forest and it’s towering pine trees into the Palm trees and Rocky Mountains of the desert city of Palm Springs.. such vast scenery changes. Our hotel is perfect it’s the hotel California and we immediately know we’ve landed a winner as the owner hands us beers on arrival and asks is not to get too naked in the 24 hour pool!! Palm Springs is a strange place, kinda like a chilled Vegas I presume as I’ve never been to Vegas, there’s Casinos and bars and the place reeks of cashola, I understand why the movie stars of the 50s moved here, but holy shit it’s hot!! 46 today, 43 yesterday,

We check in, go straight to the bottlo grab booze, get cheese, crackers ,ham and settle in poolside! Meet a coupla legends Lisa and Anne who come here every year to play golf and chill, they tell us we have to head up the mountain to Pappy and Harriet’s a bar in the desert, in the middle of nowhere, a place called pioneer town, we agree to check it out and after a little research realize that Sean wheeler, desert rock legend is playing for free tomorrow night!! Sold!! Hell yes!! The only problem is pappys is so out of the way uber doesn’t reach there, or more likely you can get there you just can’t get out, we decide to risk and pay the $50 us to get out there and damn what a place, completely isolated, no mobile reception, All timber pioneer style building, bikers and cowboys and rockers everywhere, we grab a feed (which is awesome, they have a massive fire pit which they grill everything over and it’s delicious) and prepare for the sean wheeler experience... everyone from the scene is here, Brant Bjork, Scott Reeder, Chris Goss, nick Oliveri, hutch, Dave Catching, I manage to contain my excitement, Sean Wheeler plays a soulful set, it’s epic, the desert night sky, the awesome vibes, the super potent margaritas, this place rules.. I wanna stay! \240After the bar finally closes we chat to brant and crew, and quickly realize we can’t get home and looks like we have a long walk on our hands, drunk, through the desert!! Uh oh! Lucky for us some well known locals, iris and Jason, \240chuck us in the car and take us back to there place with the promise that they probably won’t murder us .. we grab a slab and talk music til sunrise, we pass out and wake around 10 a quick beer and Irish coffee and \240thenthey graciously drop us into town, we meet up an hour later for Mexican and more margaritas .. I love this town

Spent the next 2 days in the pool or bed

The desert rocks

LA next

Can’t wait

Dear done and dusted,

Well that’s it, the dream run has come to an end, we hightailed all the way from sky valley to La, 2 hours of power and checked in to our apartment \240(which buy the way is weird as hell, I swear we got lost every time we left or entered the building, I’m not sure if I’m high off all the neighbors weed or what but... lost....every time) after a brief visit to Venice beach which weirdly was hazy as hell, it’s like blue sky and frikkin buns out in la la land, as soon as we hit Venice beach it’s like a fog has set in and it’s dropped 15 degrees! Kinda not conducive to photo opportunities, but we push on, VB to me is like Hollywood boulevard by the sea, same games, same tricks just in a pretty setting, marijuana is definitely legal here by the way, everywhere you step the dank envelopes you, and guess what?! I didn’t see any fights, and no one od’d ... Crazy huh?? We check out the muscle guys and the skater guys (and gals) my personal favourite was the roller skating dance guy, oh and the snake guy hes a 6foot 2 Black guy, with the deepest voice you ever heard, \240wearing leather and slicked back silver hair, and he poses for photos carrying a 2-3 meter gold python ....tells me he loves aussies and as he tips his nose tells me he can get me anything i want!! What a character, draws em in with a gold python then offloads some blow!! Only in LA!! \240we listen to young michael Jackson and then fat Whitney Houston, damn this girl could sing, and she is takin some dosh man, but holy shit those pipes must be sore, smashing that day in day out! Well done!! We eat some dawgs and I stand out the front of clothes shops and be a good boyfriend while mandy tries to get rid of her cash, which she does..I like Venice beach!

Now it’s time for the rainbow bar n grill baby!! Lemmy’s place, actually everyone’s place, but lemmy lived there, unfortunately He ain’t with us anymore, but there’s his mark, on everything, I sit in his reserved seat for 1 second and evoke his spirit.. what a great bar, we both without question drink JD tonight, and we make sure we ave a feed ... which was bloody great!! We drink into the night as they blast out tune after tune of rock n roll, and we chat with locals and shots and well let’s just say we got involved!! Somehow we manage to get home??? Neither of us know how? I have flashbacks but nothing makes sense..

you know what’s a great idea after a big night on the JD??? Universal Studios!! HAHAHAHA NOT!!! But we did it, I reckon record time, we did everything but due to buying express passes we queued for nothin! I had a Krusty burger at moes we ate voodoo donuts, it was a bit sunny and I forgot my hat so I bought a Harry Potter wiz hat, slitherin big time!!!

Uni studios is a fun place,

Today we mainly just chilled down at santa Monica pier, reckon I’d like to spend much more time round here and Santa Fe.. we also checked out the great frog and la ink..

well that’s it, after 3500 miles, 4 pounds of brisket, 3 slabs of modelo a few liters of margarita, 3 bloody Mary’s, 1 bottle of Jamo a litre or 2 of Jd, 8 burritos, 4 mimosas, a tub or 2 of coleslaw, 2 mooncakes, half a pack of mints, 3 packs of Marlboro, 64ounce of steaks, a load of chips, 3 packs of Fritos, 6 buds, \240a bunch of refried beans, \240endless coffee pots, and a bloody lot of macncheese, we did it,

we drove, we laughed , we drank and we loved ..

Thanks to Mandy for everything, you’re one hell of a woman and I’m lucky to have you in my life..

peace out

Oh and ps Americans are nice, weve been welcomed everywhere we went and people have gone out of their way for us.. they get a bad wrap and the most of them hate their president!!

I gotta go to germany now!

Hooroo